Columns

Eye on the Ball: A gifted and giving human being

COURTESY PHOTO Stephen Tarpinian competing in one of his many Ironman events.
COURTESY PHOTO
Stephen Tarpinian competing in one of his many Ironman events.

Life has so many twists and turns, ups and downs, sadness and happiness, that we sometimes question the old saying that God never gives us more than we can handle.

Marianna and Richard Tarpinian, two longtime Islanders, are people who have been put in that situation with the recent passing of their son, Stephen. Stephen, 54, was visiting his mom and dad last month in Sedona, Arizona when he passed away. Steve was the youngest of their three children. He leaves two sisters, Helen and Marian. As of this date, the cause of death has not yet been established.

Steve is someone I wish I had known. More than that, he was an athlete I should have written a column about long before his passing. Although I’ve spent a lot of time with the Tarpinians, they never bragged about their exceptional son. So even though this would probably have embarrassed Steve, I’d like to pay tribute to an extraordinary guy with special talents.

Steve had a bachelor’s and master’s degree in electrical engineering from Stony Brook University, with several advanced degrees and certificates in health and sports-related subjects. After college, he worked for three years at Grumman as an electrical engineer, but he knew that was not his first love and he had the courage to change careers. His love was the sports/fitness/health field; he started coaching in 1985. He had a genuine gift for helping swimmers improve and immediately started conducting swim clinics.

That gift was developed by a strong desire, since he was 10 years old, to be the best swimmer he could be.

He became a student of swimming and even developed several videos and books to help others.

He had never run a triathlon until 1981 and found his favorite part of the triathlon was, of course, the swim, loving the simplicity and purity of the sport.

He wrote such books as “Swim Power,” “Yoga,” “Water Works,” “Essential Swimmer” and “Swim Training,” along with many DVDs on the art and sport of swimming.

Although he started competing in triathlons in the early 1980s, he worked as a race director, founded Team Total Training and the Event Power Company, and continued his writing. I feel exhausted just talking about the many things Steve did with his life. Besides competing and coaching, he produced swim/triathlon clinics and training camps. After one year as race director for the Southampton Hospital Mighty Hampton Triathlon, he purchased the race from the hospital. He was well-respected for his knowledge, passion, skills and friendship on the athletic field.

Steve competed in many Ironman races, 14 at Lake Placid; Kona, Hawaii; San Diego; Phoenix; and Panama City. In addition to those, he raced 17 consecutive years in the XTERRA Triathlon Races in Maui, Hawaii. The XTERRA race series is the best-known series of off-road triathlons and is considered by most to be the de facto world championship of the sport.

Steve worked with athletes at all levels, including several professionals and three world champions. All in all, his favorite athlete to work with was the beginner to intermediate level. He is considered one of the founding fathers of triathlons on Long Island.

Talking with his mom and dad added much to my understanding of who their son really was. They told me that as a youth, he was a person who always wanted to please them. His dad said that he never even thought of punishing him for anything when he was growing up because Steve didn’t like arguments or fights and didn’t break rules. They said if he made a commitment, he always followed through. You could ask his life partner of 34 years, Jean Mellano, if that was true. Jean said, “He was not just a coach of sport, he was a coach of life.”

On Saturday, March 21, they had a memorial service here for Steve. In messages left by the people attending, there was a common thread. He was remembered as a friend, a coach and a great triathlete. He was a gifted and giving human being who gave so much of himself to many people all over the world. His goal was to give them a chance to do something they may never have done before — a chance to live a dream.

This past Sunday, April 19, Steve was recognized and honored once more at the Aquatic Center in Eisenhower Park at the launch of the Mini Mighty Man Triathlon. There was a 20-minute tribute before the race with two speakers and a short movie.

Stephen was a truly remarkable guy who I feel deserved and earned a tribute beyond a standard obituary.