Eye on the Ball: The art of staying young

There are some things we just can’t do anything about. It doesn’t matter how much money or possessions we have accumulated, exercises we do or the food we eat or don’t eat, we are still going to get older.

Since I don’t think or feel like a 76-year-old man, I do things like coloring my hair or walking straight to look the age I feel. It really doesn’t matter because I don’t fool anyone. When people honestly guess my age, they are always nauseatingly close.

Many of my friends are also doing various things to look like they are not aging. But every year for the past 29 years I’ve been doing something at this time of year that makes me feel like the same person I was at 40.

I travel to South Carolina with 20 guys to the warmer weather for friendly competition against each other on different golf courses. Everyone is in some way associated with Shelter Island. We call this annual get-together “the Hurl Rock Society.”

The name comes from the name of the first motel that I booked 29 years ago for our first trip. I had made reservations after seeing a postcard of the motel with a beautiful beach and pool. When we arrived they did not have a pool and they were not on a beach. When I mentioned this to the management, they said, “We did not say we were on the beach nor did we say that it was our pool.”

Writing this column just one day after returning from a week down south, all I can think about is what a great time I had. The ages of the guys range from 24 to 76, but we all compete like we’re 18.

Being with these young people definitely keeps me younger. Mostly, I guess, because they remind me of my own youth, but I enjoy how differently they think from my generation. A 50-year span is a long time, but I would imagine they also like hearing a few of the stories of how things used to be.

Time and age have changed many things for me. When I first started this annual trip, I was in my 40s. I would play the back tees with no handicap. Today, I’m using the front tees and I’m a 10 handicap. Using different tees has increased the playing life of older players.

I’ve learned that as you grow older, you should try to eliminate the ego and go with it. Delight in the things that you always enjoyed and just make the necessary allowances for getting older.

You’ll find that although some things change, it’s amazing how many stay the same.

On the trip, I always travel by car, usually with three other guys. Since the institution of new airline baggage fees, we have at least 10 golf bags and suitcases. The journey generally takes 16 hours with all of our stops. Breaking the trip up by playing a round of golf on the way always makes the trip more fun.

Once we’re in South Carolina, the golfing marathon begins. It’s 36 holes a day, starting after breakfast at six every morning. Amazingly, for the nearly three decades I’ve been doing this, I don’t remember anyone ever being late for breakfast. The 36 holes always ends at dark; we then meet at our dinner destination.

After all these years, the group has settled on a few of our favorite courses. Even though we have our preferences, we still try to change one every year. On the golf course, we use every minute of daylight playing our many different formats. All the matches have points awarded for the top finishes. The leaders are announced from one to 20 at dinner every night.

With this highly competitive crowd, they do not want their names read off at the bottom of the pile. Once the competitive golf is over for the day, all 20 dine together, laugh and tell stories about the fun things that happened on the course or anywhere else. Again, age has nothing to do with the fun and laughter of a group of guys who will say anything for a chuckle.

On this trip anything goes and if you are sensitive, you are going to get hurt. As one player likes to say, “I love it here because I can finally unleash my full obnoxiousness.” For one week a year, political correctness, sweetness, or just saying the right things are out the window. Teasing is always all right as long as people know that you love them, and we do.

Last year, this group introduced a “musical chairs” competition at dinner one night. The winner received a point on the golfing standards spreadsheet. That’s right, grown men enjoying a kid’s game with non-stop laughter and competitiveness. In fact, the manager of the restaurant spoke to me the next day and said that we entertained her and everyone else. She said she will certainly be introducing that type of fun to other large groups in the future.

This year’s event was dedicated to our longtime friend, Dr. Vincent DiGregorio, who sang the music in last year’s competition. Sadly, we lost Vincent this past February, but on this trip, he was far from forgotten. The prize for first place was a small chair with Dr. Vincent’s picture, dedication and voice singing during last year’s event.

Each year I worry about whether the trip will continue. I am more than aware that all good things will come to an end. However, with the new crop of golfers coming up, I think this jaunt has enough life to last awhile.

As for me, I’ll do everything I can to be ready for our 30th outing next year. Right now is the youngest I will ever be, so I suppose I’d better act immature while I still can.

After all, if a man’s hair is still dark, doesn’t that mean his age should be somewhere in his 40s?

C’mon, find something that keeps you young and never, never, never give up.