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Women, get ready for your second adulthood

BEVERLEA WALZ PHOTO | Laurie Fanelli spoke at the Shelter Island Women’s Community Club on February 7.
BEVERLEA WALZ PHOTO | Laurie Fanelli spoke at the Shelter Island Women’s Community Club on February 7.

How many of you are over 50, your kids don’t need you, your job identity is gone, and maybe your spouse is no longer with you and you’re alone? You’re depressed and feel there’s no more purpose to your life.

At the Shelter Island Woman’s Community Club meeting held on Tuesday, February 7, Laurie Fanelli, R.N., M.A., psychiatric nurse practitioner and director of our Senior Center, told the ladies of the club, “you’re ready for your second adulthood.”

Laurie went on to discuss Abraham Maslow’s theory of self actualization through his “Hierarchy of Needs” whereby we can learn to appreciate life, enjoy the journey, stay away from negative people and negative thoughts, set goals and accept ourselves and others in order to progress.

American author Gail Sheehy was also highlighted by Laurie. Sheehy notes that women have gone through many periods during their lives — as daughters, wives, mothers or caretakers, often juggling all of this with an outside career. Yet it’s after the age of 50 that women (men too) have the greatest opportunity for growth and reaching their potential. No matter what stage of life you’re in, you’ll recognize yourself in Sheehy’s book “Passages.”

Questions and answers followed with some shared personal experiences, encouragement and laughter. But it all boils down to this quote of Dame Dennis in “Auntie Mame”: “Life is a banquet and most poor suckers are starving to death.”

Laurie’s presentation taught us that our sucker days can be over and we have much more to look forward to.