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Richard’s Almanac: There’s only one number one

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This week, Richard discusses grand-parenthood.

“What I like best about my grandchildren is that they go home after their visits!”

This was a fairly common attitude when I was growing up. I can even remember my grandfather saying it in a very good-natured manner. In general I think that grandparents in my youth were nowhere nearly as involved with their grandchildren as grandparents are today.

I do remember, however, spending a great deal of time during my very early years doing mundane activities with my maternal grandmother. But I believe that was because I was her first grandchild. I remember riding in her car to all different stores and shops. I became her sidekick for a while. She drove a 1937 Plymouth and I sat right next to her in the front seat learning all the street names and directions.

Back in those days it was pretty rare for a woman to be driving. That was evident when she had an accident with my grandfather in the front seat. The newspaper made a big deal out of it with a photo of my grandfather with a bandaged face and a headline that read, “Man Injured as Wife-Driven Car Hits Tree.”

But I got older and my grandmother had 20 other grandchildren. But being the first never lost its shine. Even when my younger brother asked my grandfather about why I was favored, he said, “There’s only one number one.”

I remember sitting around the dinner table at my father’s parents’ house and his father talking to children and grandchildren saying, “I love all my grandchildren, but I love Joe the best.” Joe was the first so we just accepted it.

But I don’t ever remember being babysat by grandparents. It just never happened. Except when a baby was born. And that took about a week -— that’s how long hospital stays were for new mothers back then.

Whenever I do go to grandchildren’s events, I notice lots of grandparents around and they seem to look young. At least younger than grandparents seemed when I was a kid. Back then they all seemed to have gray hair and had trouble getting around — except for my grandmother who drove and dyed her hair. I remember asking my mother why she had gray hair and her mother didn’t.

Grandparents were very much in evidence at the school science fair last Friday night. And I always notice grandparents watching Little League and volleyball games. They seem very visible and supportive. It’s a real benefit when grandparents live near their children. They get to be a real part of the grandchildren’s lives.

My own children grew up with their grandparents living far away so contact was relegated to holidays and special occasions. Not the same. I wish I lived closer to my grandkids in Jersey. It’s not halfway across the country but a round trip to Jersey can be an eight-hour drive. But I will make the trip to see the kids. I love it. But it’s not the same as them living on the Island.