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Codger column: Godspeed

REPORTER FILE PHOTO Reverend Stephen Fearing
REPORTER FILE PHOTO Reverend Stephen Fearing

Codger is not religious, but since the era of Pastor Bill he has regarded the Presbyterian Church as a moral center of the Island, a house of good works. Stephen Fearing was 26 when he became the latest caretaker of that house and next month, at 30, he and his wife, Tricia, will be leaving for a new congregation in Lexington, Kentucky.

This was never a perfect fit, although mostly a lively and enriching one. The Fearings, raised in the South, are much younger and more progressive than the majority of their 100 or so congregants who might have thought these whippersnappers would revive an aging church.

The Fearings might have rejected jobs in Detroit, St. Louis and Cincinnati because they perceived the Island as their kind of small town in a blue state.

Stephen was fresh from seminary, filled with liberation theology. He saw racism, sexism, the exploitation of immigrants as battles to be joined. As a preacher’s daughter, Tricia was more experienced; this was her fifth congregation.

She was determined not to be just a pastor’s stay-at-home wife; she was beginning her own career as a therapist at The Retreat, a shelter for abused women serving the East End.

Last week, sitting in the dining room of “The Manse,” the pastor’s home on Thomas Avenue, the Fearings were alternately sad and excited as moving day loomed. Tricia said she has stopped wearing mascara because she’s been crying so much. They agreed that their strongest emotion was “gratitude” for how they had been treated here and how much they had learned.

“I found my preaching voice here,” said Stephen, a big, bearded, often exuberantly profane man. “I had my first chances to baptize someone, to marry them, to pray with them as they died. What an intimate honor to be allowed into the sacred spaces of people’s lives.

“I came with my own ideas of social justice, of how a church can’t be just a social club, how it has to speak truth to power and feed the hungry. Some people got behind that and some people smiled and waited for me to grow up.”

“We did grow here,” said Tricia, small and warm. She has described herself as an extroverted person on an introverted island. “We got married here and we worked out our marriage here. I found boundaries and ways not to be so sensitive to things people said to me.”

Stephen has developed a certain preaching finesse, he thinks. Instead of “bashing Trump” so directly, he says he has learned “to let the gospel speak for itself.” After Trump slurred several Third World countries, he delivered a sermon entitled “What Good Can Come from Haiti?” a reference to the biblical Nathanael’s skeptical question about Jesus’ birthplace, “Can anything good come out of Nazareth?” In answering that, Nathanael found Jesus.

After that sermon, Tricia remembered, a conservative congregant praised Stephen for making his point without sounding like Trump.

There were admitted missteps. While Stephen says he does not regret the substance of a sermon that included a condemnation of “our nation’s idolatrous obsession with guns,” it led to a serious reaction. A prominent Islander publicly criticized Stephen for using “the pulpit to espouse personal political leanings,” then left a leadership position in what he described as a now politically divided church.

In retrospect, Stephen wishes he had first created a dialogue on the issue with his parishioners and helped them to see that gun control was less a political issue than a human one connected to Jesus’ love of justice.

“I’m learning when to challenge and when to lay back,” said Stephen.

He is most proud, he says, of the church’s affiliation with Maureen’s Haven, a coalition of religious and community institutions to provide overnight shelters for the homeless. The congregation made it a mission.

Codger had to push the Fearings into offering advice for the next pastor, whom they will probably never meet.

“Go to Maria’s, talk to her, get to know the immigrant community,” said Tricia. “Go to Sylvester Manor, understand the Island’s history and learn how to love the land. Go to the Farmers Market, to STARs. And get off the Island, too, to Sag Harbor and Mattituck for the movies.”

The Fearings followed that advice. Their frequent Facebook postings were filled with concerts, Broadway shows, bourbon, chicken wings and trivia outings.

“Don’t get too comfortable here,” said Stephen. “It’s the danger of this Island, people worshiping their comfort. Stay aware, shake things up, be present, humble and kind.”

“The pastor is not a sacred holy cow,” said Tricia.

Stephen patted his stomach. “I’m just a cow.”

“Maybe this would have been the place to come to later in our careers,” said Tricia, a little dreamily.

“We’ll keep a light on,” Codger said.