Eye on the Ball: A beautiful afternoon

Every time I tell someone I live on Shelter Island year-round, they always ask the same question— “What do you do out there in the winter?” I thought a lot about that statement this past Saturday afternoon.

It was a cold, late November day, and although I had a date that evening, I really had nothing exotic planned for the afternoon.

In true Shelter Island style, one of my friends called me up and asked what I was doing that afternoon. When I told him that I had nothing planned, he and his wife invited me over to their house for a cup of coffee and chit chat.

I accepted, and although this couple are two people I’ve known for many years, we never just sit and talk about the lives of each other. When we’re together, we’ve always had other people around and the conversation was totally different.

Their home was beautiful and comfortable. We immediately sat in the living room. That would be the room with soft couches and chairs and no television. It would also be the room with a blazing fire with a pile of logs to keep it going.

So, here I am in this gorgeous home, sitting with friends who just wanted to sit and chat about anything. Naturally, our conversation was so easy that I couldn’t think of a place that I could be happier, especially on a miserable day.

I wasn’t thinking that we have nothing to do or that I was bored. Interestingly, in this time in American politics, we both thought completely differently. We were from two opposite parties and we knew it, but we had a lot to talk about without trying to change the mind of the other about how to think. I learned this year that no one was going to change my mind about what I should think, and I knew that I could never change them.

Because of politics, this was one of the worst years of my life. My sister, who was one my best friends my entire life, and my wife of 60 years, were also opposites in their politics. They were both so strong in their feelings they deleted each other on Facebook and completely stopped talking to each other.

Two years ago, my wife died and at the funeral service my sister made a point of telling me how silly they were to give up this lifelong friendship for something they had no control over. Last year, my sister died, and I’d lost my two best friends. I gave the eulogy at their funeral services and begged my friends and family not to try to change their friends’ minds. It will not happen.

Around our fire, we talked about our childhoods, where we grew up, our hobbies, family and where we met our spouses. We had plenty of things to talk about without politics. Once that was out of the way, I learned so much about my friends and the totally different environments we grew up in. We laughed easily and talked about our ideas on how to make our little island even better.

They both came from an environment where education was important. They had plenty of schooling, but not me. I grew up in the middle of an all Italian neighborhood with many cousins.

Very few of my friends and family went to college even if they had great grades.

Living one mile from Monmouth Park Racetrack, naturally sports and gambling was a large part of my childhood. The conversation we had had nothing to do with sports, gambling or education, but we have all arrived as interesting people.

As I was riding home, all I could think of was what a pleasant time I had with a simple and inexpensive day. With a down-to-earth lifestyle and finding joy in everything, you will never be looking for more.