Eye on the Ball: Pastor DeStefano?

It seems as the years of life go on, those years keep throwing new surprises at me. Things that we would never have thought about in a lifetime seem to be happening. This past weekend, down in Florida, was another one of those times.

In my life I’ve attended many of my family’s and friends’ weddings, but none of them were like this one.

The couple not only asked me to attend, but I was asked to officiate.

I said, “What does that mean?” My friends answered that they’d like me to be the minister. Since I had never heard of such a thing, I laughed. Later, I found out that most of the people I told, already knew this was possible.

This call came from someone many of you already know — Rick Southwick. Although Rick grew up on the Island, and his family was very involved in the community through the years, golfers know him as one of the best golfers the Island has ever produced.

His parents, Meg and Bill Southwick, had an insurance agency here for years and his grandfather was the long-time Town Supervisor Evans K. Griffing. The family is now somewhat scattered, but Rick and his parents still live within a half hour of each other on the east coast of Florida.

After I understood what he meant by officiate, I was honored and agreed to do it. I didn’t understand how I could be an ordained minister in such a short time. But you can do it online, which I did. I am now a licensed ordained minister. My church is American Marriage Ministries (AMM). They have ordained around 550,000 ministers around the world. That translates into millions of weddings.

I found out that AMM has three pillars of belief: All people, regardless of race, gender, or sexual orientation, have the right to marry; it is the right of every couple to choose who will solemnize their marriage; and all people have the right to solemnize marriage.

Marriage is a right, a freedom, and a social guarantee that underpins the society in which we live.

Now, to my first experience as a minister.

At no time did I speak to Rick about how I would handle the ceremony, the vows, speakers and the rings. I only spoke five minutes with his bride, Michelle, before the ceremony for 150 guests. He said later that he had no fear — he knew it would be fine.

This wedding had another feature to deal with. Michelle has a 13-year-old daughter, Gianna. At the reception, Rick called her to the microphone and presented Gianna with a birthstone ring and asked her if she would be his daughter. Of course, the answer was, “Yes.”

The wedding ceremony came off perfectly. It lasted between 15 and 20 minutes, including words from the parents and a cousin of Michelle. Three-fourths of the ceremony was serious and the rest was laughter. That was exactly what I was hoping we could do.

The two of them even left the saying of the vows and the ring ceremony up to me, a gutsy move on their part. Marriage is a serious step and I was not going to be the person to ruin this wedding.

Interestingly, I found that when your friends are doing the talking, it adds a special, personal touch to the ceremony. I enjoyed this wedding and being involved added so much more to that afternoon than you can imagine.

They now have an official license in the state of Florida verifying that they are legally married, and I have a legal license saying that I am an ordained minister.

Like I said, things keep happening that surprise me and this one fits that description. I still like being called “Pro,” but if you prefer pastor or minister, feel free to call me what you want.

I would like to wish Michelle and Rick a long life together and thank them for making me a part of something special. Bring on the next challenge.