Dr. Sultan’s column: Settling into a new life

The COVID-19 coronavirus restrictions have thrown a wrench in the machinery of everyone’s daily lives by removing the built-in structure we get by leaving the house every day. We all need to recreate that.

The White House’s multi-phased plan to reopen America makes clear our situation isn’t an extended snow day. It isn’t a stay-cation. Nor is it a casual work-from-home day.

Short of a miraculous medical intervention, those of us who are non-essential will likely work from home for months. Vulnerable individuals will be at home longer. This is a long haul. We each need to adapt our lives. We need to learn how to live a new type of life.

How can we do that? How can we live this new life?

First, let’s examine what most of us have lost — the routine of our lives.

Even if you don’t think of yourself as following a routine, I’d argue you probably do. Your daily and weekly lives create a built-in routine.

For example, you may drive to work each day, picking up coffee along the way and listening to music or the news. Your day is then full of solo work time, one-on-one or group meetings and spontaneous social interaction.

On your drive home, you may call a friend or family member, go to the gym, or stop and pick up dinner.

Routines can also be weekly. For example, you may go to church on Sundays, have a meal as a family on Fridays or enjoy a beer with friends on Thursdays.

These routines are important to daily life. Routines give all of our lives a sense of containment and structure. Further, following routines make our lives less stressful since we know what to expect next.

As the stay-at-home order rolled out, many of us dropped our routines. For example, we stopped attending church, canceled our social events, took some time off from the gym, and stopped getting dressed for work in the morning.

Daily life became a Groundhog Day and personal and professional lines blurred together.

We all need to undo that.

Recreating and reinventing your routine will make these next weeks and months more tolerable. Take a look at the box below for some tips and sign up for our workshop on “Recreating and Reinventing Your Routine.”

Dr. Sultan’s Tips for Creating a Routine

Monday, April 27, at 7 p.m, the Town of Shelter Island Health and Wellness Alliance, a group of healthcare professionals on the Island, will be hosting a Zoom workshop on how to create a routine for yourself. (See below for more details.) For now, let me offer some suggestions.

Dealing with a crisis is a marathon, not a sprint.

Start thinking about this situation as a new life for yourself (and if it ends earlier, you will be pleasantly surprised).

Treat your work days, like work days.

• Get up at the same time you would for work. Don’t sleep in, even if you don’t have any meetings until later.

• Get dressed, like you would for work.

• Use a separate room or create a separate work space in your home for work. Don’t work on the couch or in your bed.

These interventions will move you into a mindset that you are working and create some boundaries between work and home.

Schedule in Physical Activity.

Even if you never went to the gym, all of us are walking less than before. Fortunately, we are entering better weather.

• At a minimum, go outside at least once a day, every day, for at least 15 minutes — humans didn’t evolve to stay in houses all day.

• If you have a smartphone, use it to monitor your daily steps. 10,000 steps equals about 5 miles.

Bring back Weekends.

Make weekends feel different from weekdays. We are so fortunate to be on Shelter Island. Most of us have yards and there are many outdoor places to enjoy where you can keep your distance from others.

Daily Social Interaction.

Each day make sure to connect with someone else. At the end of the day, this is what will feel meaningful. Have one-on-one time with friends and family. Video-based chatting is evolving. Use Zoom, and if that isn’t your thing, phones still work!

Self Care.

Life isn’t easy now, but try to bring joy into your day. Have something on your calendar that you look forward to each day. I’ve been watching the Netflix show “Ozark.”

And again, join the the Zoom workshop on Monday, April 27 at 7 p.m. on recreating and reinventing your routines, brought to you by the Town of Shelter Island Health and Wellness Alliance. Space is limited. To sign up, email: [email protected].

Dr. Ryan Sultan, is a board-certified adult and pediatric psychiatrist, and an assistant professor of clinical psychiatry at Columbia University Medical Center. His family has been on Shelter Island for over 60 years.