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Love in a cold climate: The greatest Valentines of all time

Although I was one of the tens of millions who got up ridiculously early to watch Diana Spencer marry Prince Charles in 1981, I knew it wouldn’t last.

When analyzing other people’s relationships, I always start with the famous. What would Lucy do if Ricky Ricardo, say, repeatedly “forgot” to take the batteries to the recycling center? How would Beyoncé react when Jay-Z started spending so much time on his phone that she couldn’t get his attention at dinnertime?

Bert and Ernie, Gomez and Morticia Addams, June Carter and Johnny Cash, John and Yoko. They loved each other, and defied fate and expectations to somehow make it work. 

Falling in love is easy, but being together takes some doing, and the inspiration of a famous couple doesn’t hurt. In honor of Valentine’s Day, I asked people in love if they have a couple to inspire them.

“Baby, you’re the greatest.”

Steve (my Valentine) and I think Ralph and Alice Kramden of “The Honeymooners” are the greatest. One is razor-sharp, the other a little dense, one practical, the other a hatcher of ill-considered schemes. Somehow, they inhabit a tiny New York apartment with a finicky stove and a non-working refrigerator without killing each other.

It turns out that Lisa Shaw and Tom Hashagen, who wrote, directed and produced “A Hill of Beans” last summer and are now writing a new musical, feel the same way about Alice and Ralph’s best friends Ed and Trixie Norton, who adore each other, even if it’s not always clear why. “Great, the sitcom is fully represented,” Lisa said.

“I’ve got you, babe.”

Darryn Weinstein, owner of Eccentric Bagels (formerly Eagle Deli), when asked if he and his wife Amy identified with a famous couple, didn’t miss a beat, “Sonny & Cher. Nothing describes our relationship better than their song, ‘I got you, babe.’”

Darryn and Amy are part of a club.

Two other Island couples cited Sonny and Cher Bono’s years of very public wedded bliss in the 1960s and 70s as their lodestar. Oyster farmers Julia Weisenberg and Chris Coyne once attended the Shelter Island Country Club Halloween party in Sonny & Cher costumes that involved a bushy mustache, long swinging hair, and way too much eye makeup.  “Chris is definitely the musician of our duo, and he really can play ‘I’ve got you, babe,’” said Julia.

When a frog loves a piggy …

Rurik and Cynthia Halaby have lived summers on Shelter Island since the 1980s, and will celebrate their 58th wedding anniversary next month. Rurik says that although he would like to think their relationship is like Rick and Ilsa of “Casablanca,” realistically it’s closer to the romance of Muppets Kermit the Frog and Miss Piggy, because, “Kermit melts every time he sees Miss Piggy,” Rurik said.

Love is strange

Like the Halabys, writers Bob Lipsyte, and Lois Morris have a quasi-human model for their love supreme. “Beauty and the Beast” is the tale of a beautiful and intelligent person, who is imprisoned by a hairy, animal-like humanoid. They eventually fall for each other, and overcome a curse to live happily ever after; a love story to which we can all relate.

The mystery of love …

Jean Dickerson and Flo Hosp find their doppelgangers in the novels of a mystery writer whose charming characters, Lady Emily Hardcastle “the aging employer” and her “tiny servant,” Florence Armstrong, turn the employer/employee relationship on its head and team up to solve crimes. With affection and respect for each other, Flo and Lady Hardcastle unravel the mysteries in the eight-book series by T.E. Kinsey. To fully appreciate the appeal of this fictional couple to Jean and Flo, it helps to know that Flo was a UPS driver with Jean’s house on her route. They finally met one day when Flo had to track Jean down to sign for a package.

Will you still need me, will you still feed me, when I’m 64?

I figured young couples would look to their own generation for models, but farmer Cristina Cosentino and chef Armond Joseph find inspiration in their friends Sara Gordon and Peter Vielbig, recently-married Valentines who found each other later in life. Cristina wrote, “Their very real, selfless and thoughtful love inspires us on a deep level.” 

Maybe our fascination with famous couples is proof that every loving couple is unique and the reasons for their love are unknowable. What does one see in the other? Why does the relationship work?  What makes love last?  Tim Purtell said he and Robin Drake don’t really see themselves in other couples, “We’re our own thing, man.”

Happy Valentine’s Day, to all.