01/16/15 10:00am


Note: Our bowling columnist reports from China that league standings will appear at the end of each five-week period.

The main events have come and gone — Christmas and the New Year! What better way to burn some post-holiday calories than throwing a 10-, 12- or even 18-pound ball down a wooden alley? (more…)

Featured Story
12/12/14 10:00am
BEVERLEA WALZ PHOTO Form follows focus: Linda Springer delivering for Paint by Numbers.

Form follows focus: Linda Springer delivering for Paint by Numbers.

It seems like just yesterday that the 2014-2015 Ladies Bowling League began the battle in the standings.

The ladies have just completed their 10th week of bowling, and their second full round in the competition. Due to some unfortunate technical difficulties on my end, the bowling column failed to appear in its regular position in the Reporter’s sports section. Have no fear, for I have returned! (more…)

02/06/14 3:32pm
GRETEL FRENCH PHOTO | A red-sailed junk sails through Victoria Harbor in Hong Kong.

GRETEL FRENCH PHOTO | A red-sailed junk sails through Victoria Harbor in Hong Kong.

Shelter Island’s own Gretel French has been living and working in China as a teacher. The long-time ladies bowling correspondent for the Reporter, Gretl from time to time has dropped us a line about her experiences. Here’s her inside look on celebrations for the Year of the Horse and her travels around the country. (more…)

11/14/13 4:45pm


Hi folks! I am really glad that I write this column every week, since it keeps me “in the loop” and also helps me to retain a semblance of proper English. Just the other day I caught myself speaking and writing in Chinglish (a fusion of the Chinese and English languages). This will make for some great fun in future articles, as well as my weekly “one-up” on Hans!

The following details are but a small chronicle of the events that occurred on the first night of bowling. The Guttersnipes and Spares R Us left some notes that made for interesting reading on the score sheet. Even though the Spares only won 3 points that night, they kept everyone laughing. Mama P was up to her usual shenanigans, as she bowled over average for two out of three games. Julia Best bowled one of her highest games to date. I had some trouble deciphering the notes on the score sheet. All I could really understand was that Julia “kissed the pin” and something about a “birthday split.” Sounds like a personal issue to me!

Ellie Labrozzi tried to maintain some composure and some high scores during the laugh fest.

The Guttersnipes won 8 points for that evening. Christine Brown bowled a string of consistent pearls, as did Cathy Driscoll. Joanne Kresak and Cara Loriz held on tight for this battle of ultimate athleticism! Mary Dudley must have been building a log cabin somewhere up north, as she was not around to put her “spin” on things.

The following evening the Fabulous Five met up with Family Ties. Clearly Essie Simovich got my previous note about the fortune cookies if you roll a turkey.

Essie has already done this twice this season. I have enough fortune cookies, but I may have to ask Hans for some help for the fortunes! Jammin’ Jackie Brewer is reaching her peak as she consistently bowled over average in all three games. Audrey Marshall packed a mighty punch with her personal high of the night, a blistering 157. Donna Cass also bowled her best on this evening. Hmmm, must be the promise of those cookies!

Family Ties airs on NBC … Nope, that was the television show. Sorry ladies, the team name gets some razzing for that one. “What would we do baby, without” Melissa Steinmuller bowling a 151. “What would we do, baby, without” Cathy Rasmussen bowling average. Family Ties bowled well and earned 6 of the 11 points available; the other 5 went to none other than the Fabulous Five.

The final night of the first five weeks of bowling, we crowned a new Bowler of the Week. The Odd Balls’ Linda McCarthy bowled 65 pins over average for the series and 75 pins over her average in game three (185). Congratulations Linda! The Odd Balls all had some nice efforts that evening. Margaret Colligan joined the Odd Balls as an alternate bowler and helped contribute to the win. Bev “I don’t know how you do it all” Pelletier knocked down some serious timber in games one and two (176-154). Kelly Michalak posted a nice 142, while Captain Stephanie “Pony Girl” Tybaert bowled a solid 143 and 131. The Odd Balls ran away with 8 points for the night.

Paint By Numbers claimed the final 3 points with only two bowlers, Pam Jackson and Linda Springer. Ginny and Phyllis were busy hamming it up with Mickey Mouse this week, so Linda and Pam picked up the slack. Pam bowled her usual greatness (155-180-138). Linda also bowled well, posting a 136-125-156, but it wasn’t enough to thwart the Odd Balls. I hope Ginny and Phyllis bought you guys some souvenirs for the effort!

Five weeks down, 20 more to go! Averages have been established and now the points really start to count. As a famed Shelter Island bowler would whisper in your ear: “Psst … No pressure!”

Week 5 Team Standings
Team    Won    Lost
Paint By Numbers    36.0    19.0
Fabulous Five    35.0    20.0
Guttersnipes    30.0    25.0
Odd Balls    26.5    28.5
Family Ties    25.5    29.5
Spares R Us    12.0    43.0

10/24/13 5:00pm

BEVERLEA WALZ PHOTO | Crystal Steinmuller, left. and Joanne Kresak of the Guttersnipes lighten up the competition with a little tandem bowling between games at Ladies Bowling Tuesday night.

In case you were wondering how I’m able to write about the weekly happenings of Shelter Island bowling from China, it’s all to the great efforts of the Ladies League Secretary Beverly Pelletier. It is truly amazing what can be done from approximately 11,000 miles away!

I have also been informed that it will take several weeks before everyone has established and/or reestablished their handicaps. Until then the league standings will be in ultimate flux. So, don’t go crowning yourselves the early favorites in this race of athleticism just yet.

This week we crowned a new Bowler of the Week. Essie Simovich returned for a night of fantabulous bowling prowess. Essie took the top prize this week by bowling 51 pins over her current average, as well as the honors for high scratch game, a solid 191. Watch out folks, the first two Bowlers of the Week were both from the Fabulous Five. The Fab Five bowled against Spares R Us. Donna Cass dazzled the world with her 168-155-165, as Jammin’ Jackie Brewer returned to work on her fastball.

The Spares had several words to describe their experience this week. The word “robbed” comes to mind. I guess there were some near misses, except for the 5-10 split made by Julia Best. Ellie Labrozzi is just warming up, posting a high game 174 en route to her many future 200s. Additionally, Mama P, Sharon Wicks and Donna Anderson rallied in support for a few points.

Family Ties came out with some strong efforts from the Steinmullers and Rasmussens alike. Unfortunately, they were unable to thwart Paint By Numbers bowlers, Phyllis Power and Pam Jackson. The PBNs took all 11 points that night despite some missing teammates.

They are currently in first place, but as I said, nothing is set in stone until the handicaps are established.

The Guttersnipes bowled against the Odd Balls while managing the new score sheets. Based on the copies I get, I can imagine that the new score sheets are like Post-Its. After deciphering which game was which, I was able to determine that Jen “Padawan Learner” Wissemann has returned to the Odd Balls from beyond, while ‘Snipe Cathy Driscoll has gone on yet another trip abroad. The Odd Balls posted some notable scores from Bev Pelletier (145) and Stephanie “Pony Girl” Tybaert (150). Meanwhile, Guttersnipe Joanne Kresak threw her crystal (pink) ball down for a 121 in the first game. Too bad she couldn’t foresee higher scores in the last two games. Mary Dudley scored well in the first game, but I think she was distracted the rest of the night, planning a little winter getaway to visit — China!

Christine Brown is coming up as the wild card for the Snipes, as she posted a high 144.

Nine is the magic number of games that must be bowled before the handicap is established. Until everyone has done so, standings will hang in the balance. Do leave me little notes in the margins of the score sheets, as they will help me to fully capture what I cannot physically see. Or, if you prefer, I can use my imagination. In the meantime, bowl strong and work on getting better score sheets!

Week 2 Team Standings
Team    Won    Lost
Paint By Numbers    22    0
Fabulous Five    19    3
Guttersnipes    8    14
Family Ties    8    14
Spares R Us    6    16
Odd Balls    3    19