Back-to-school blues, and joys: A family, a teacher on handling the change

Elizabeth Weslek is ready. But she has moments when she’s not completely sold on the whole idea.

Scheduled to start kindergarten on tomorrow, September 7 at “the big school,” Elizabeth, 5, has told her mother, Vicki, a couple of times,

“I want to go back to my old school,” referring to the Shelter Island Early Childhood Learning Center.

But all in all, she’s emotionally ready, Ms. Weslek said, because she’s no stranger to a classroom.

“My husband and I did a great service sending our children to the pre-school,” Ms. Weslek said.

The exposure to a school environment, getting involved with peers and other adults besides their parents, helped Elizabeth’s brothers, Evan, 7, entering 2nd grade, and Harrison, 9, going into 4th, make the transition to the public school when they were ready for kindergarten easier, Ms. Weslek said.

“I’ve learned that all my children are different,” she said, adding that her boys demonstrated no fears going into kindergarten. “They had a first few beautiful days, where they left with no tears but big smiles.”

Ms. Weslek is taking Elizabeth’s emotional temperature these days. “There’s nothing that makes me think she’ll have a hard time of it,” she said.

Elizabeth and her brothers are three of 50.4 million American students who will attend public elementary and high school this month, according to the National Center for Education Statistics. More than a few of them will have the bends surfacing from summer’s freedom into school’s discipline.

About 33 percent of back-to-school bound students are worried about the workload of a new year, according to Nemours, a nonprofit health system with a focus on children, and another third are concerned about getting along with their peers.

Rounding out the stress factor is how peers will view their personal appearance.

Back to school can also be headache season for teens, according to Nationwide Children’s Hospital, a pediatric healthcare system. Even if the teens are faking the headaches to stay home, this still is an indicator of stress.

The opening bell
It’s not just the youngsters heading off to school who are facing changes. Parents and teachers have to gear up for new routines of sleeping, eating and living, even if the adults have less wringing of hands or hurting of heads.

Devon Treharne, an English teacher with classes for grades 8 through 12 at Shelter Island School, said she goes through a noticeable period of adjustment. “I have as much anxiety as the students about getting back into the swing and making it comfortable for everyone,” Ms. Treharne said.

But preparation is the answer. “The more preparation, the better I feel,” she said.

Experts agree that preparing children for a new routine while summer is still in session is easier on everyone in the household.

The week before school starts, the Wesleks will be clock watching.

“There have been later nights than in the school year this summer, Ms. Weslek said. “Sleep is very, very important, so we’ll take the week before school starts for transitioning.”

There has also been a family discussion about eating habits. Although the children’s diet is a healthy one, there haven’t been a lot of family sit-down dinners this summer. Ms. Weslek’s husband, Ian, has been traveling a good deal this summer “so it’s been a lot of me,” she said. “I’ve had to adapt.”

One rule has stayed firm through the summer, however: no iPads at the table.

Ms. Treharne, who is getting her three children, James, 10, Reagan, 8, and Brady, 6, ready for school, is “doing a lot of advance cooking for the family so it’s less stressful the first week or so,” she said.

She’s also dialing back her own bedtime so it won’t be a shock the morning of September 7.

“In the summer I wake up at 7:30,” she said. “School days I have to be up at 5:30.”

For Ms. Weslek, the first day of school, will be bittersweet.

A self-described “stay-at-home mom,” she said other mothers she’s spoken to have all said the same thing: “‘I can’t wait until they’re all in school.’ But I have a lot of mixed emotions. Elizabeth is ready for this new chapter in her life. And I’m ready, as well.”

School sticker shock
Back to school means shopping, and the expense of new clothes and supplies can hit a family’s pocketbook hard. According to research by the National Retail Federation (NRF), families with children in grades K-12 will spend, on average, $673 on clothes, electronics and school supplies. That’s up from last year’s back-to-school bill of $630 for families, according to the NRF.

The Wesleks have completed most of their shopping, with Ms. Weslek’s mother pitching in. “She loves the chance to take them school shopping,” Ms. Weslek said.

They spent most of their money at a national clothing retailer. “The quality might not be awesome, but they’re growing and the clothes don’t have to last forever,” Ms. Weslek said.

In addition, Evan can have his big brother’s hand-me-downs.

What was a bit concerning was the amount of school supplies that were required. Looking at the list provided by the school,

Ms. Weslek said, “We’re talking about pencils. Notebooks. And it was the first time we had three lists.”

She feels grateful that the expense of supplies is not overwhelming, “but I wonder how families on much tighter budgets than we are can afford it.”

Day one
There’s no question how Ms. Treharne will approach the first days of school: hit the ground running. “It takes a couple of weeks to get everybody back into the routine of the rigors of the academic year,” she said, and one way of doing that is have everyone focusing on the work right away.

But most Island students have the advantage of working summer jobs, Ms. Treharne said. “They work so hard and so much during the summer that a lot of kids come back to school relieved because the hours are easier.”

With the house to herself for six hours a day during the week, Ms. Weslek will be devoting time to starting up a business this fall.

“It’s the end of an era, and I believe the people who tell me I’ll miss these days,” she said. “We’ve had a lovely summer.”