Christmas memories

Christmas doesn’t come around without bringing us an assortment of diverse feelings. As I get older, I’m amazed at how these moods change every year. I enjoy this cheerful season for different reasons. I’ve been lucky to have had a mother and then a wife who loved everything about Christmas.

They loved the decorations, gift giving, Santa Claus and the happiness and friendliness the season brings. People were in better spirits during this time of year; parties included friends and family who you didn’t see much of the rest of the year.

I was a 5-year-old boy 75 years ago when it all started for me. Santa Claus was real. I believed in him so much that I never questioned how his reindeer could fly or the many houses he would cover in one night. Best of all, I didn’t care how this large man came down a cardboard chimney into a cardboard fireplace in my house, with all those toys in a sack. It didn’t matter because he was always bringing me a gift, so I continued to do my part and leave him a cookie and a glass of milk.

As I look back at all the wrapped gifts that were neatly stacked under the tree, those days were so exciting. I still see little Bobby DeStefano sitting by the tree shaking the gifts and trying to figure out what was in the boxes. All these years later, I can still tell you what was wrapped in many of the boxes that Santa left for me.

It was always a merry time of year and along the way, at 19, I married Anne, finding a lady who loved this time of year even more than my mother. She would spend every penny the two of us had on presents, because she considered it important. In those days, the banks promoted things called Christmas Clubs. You would put in $1 a week so you had $50 to buy your gifts in December.

My first sad Christmas happened when I was 24. My dad died in December, aged 49. Christmas didn’t have a lot of excitement over the next few years.

At 30, the thrill came back. Anne and I started our family and finally had our own house. Anne didn’t want much in life except a family and a house and now we had both. At Christmas, you’d have a hard time finding three feet in that house that wasn’t decorated. When the kids were young, Anne would have two full trees, never considering an artificial tree going into our house. We had one in our living room, but her reasoning was we didn’t spend much time in there, so we also had one in our family room.

Anne wanted her two kids to love this time of year the same way we did. We spent every cent we had on decorations, presents, trips, celebrations and food. Looking back now, I realize it was all worth it. My kids had years building memories about what Christmas is all about.

I knew my kids were smarter than me. In our house, we had a real fireplace and chimney, not cardboard. When Bobby was about 3 years old, we saw him looking in the fireplace and up the chimney. He wanted to know how Santa Claus got through the damper. Our good friend Lester Van Wicklen was at the house and immediately said, “Santa has a damper stretcher.”

That was the end of that question.

Our extended family lived in Long Branch, New Jersey and we always went to see my mom, sister, brother and their families over the holidays. We had a long run of enjoying December 25 and the birth of Jesus.

I think of all the wonderful years I had for so long. I like to sit in front of a decorated tree and let my mind wander. It always seems to go to my first two-wheel bike when I broke my mom’s rule and sneaked downstairs around 3 a.m. I wasn’t supposed to see it, but there it was, a two-wheel bicycle called “Monarch” under the tree. The rule was that no one was allowed downstairs before all of us went together.

That was around the same time I started breaking other rules.

Sadness has crept into my Christmas now. I have lost so many of the stars of  Christmas past. Mine and Anne’s mom and dad, and sisters and brothers, are all gone. Their families are spread all over the United States, but this Christmas we will all get together at least one more time, for the good times. My brother’s son, Brian, still has a fabulous party every Christmas Eve where the entire family is invited.

My wife and daughter, Anne and Nancy, are both gone, but watching over us this Christmas. As far as memories, Anne gave me 60 great years, and Nancy gave me 41. That’s a lot of years to recall. Although I worried at all the money they spent, I feel good today. I have no regrets — I was smart enough to let them do it their way.

We lived during a great time in history. I was 6 years old when World War II ended, and all the soldiers wanted was to get home to their families and get on with their lives. They made great parents. We knew very little about the war, because nobody wanted to talk about what went on. We grew up loving what they did for us. I don’t think we will ever have another 80-year span like the one we just finished.

I wish all Reporter readers a Merry Christmas and a terrific New Year.