Nancy Green’s column: Having a pet
If you’ve never owned one you can’t fully understand. But once they are brought into your home and life, they are yours to love. One could say, of course, the same thing about a new baby. But this “baby” doesn’t grow up, just grows old, and presumably remains in your care throughout his or her life.
This is a commitment that requires a lot of giving. But most pet owners would say that the “giving” is nowhere near the “receiving,” and that the value that a dog, cat, hamster, bird, etc. provides is totally worth it. Indeed, as novelist George Eliot wrote in 1857, “Animals are such agreeable friends — they ask no questions: they pass no criticisms.”
Animals as pets go back possibly tens of thousands of years. According to “Smithsonian Magazine,” a 32,000-year-old canine-like skull found in a cave in Belgium was probably the first dog. Dogs and cats were buried with humans 12,000 years ago, suggesting that they were special to people and therefore probably domesticated. But most likely back then, the full extent of their emotional power was not known. It is only recently that the curative power of pets has become widely accepted.
A National Institutes of Health newsletter in 2018 stated that pets may decrease stress, improve heart health, and even help children with their emotional and social skills. For example, in one study dogs were brought into a classroom with children diagnosed with ADHD. The children read to the dogs for 12 weeks. In another classroom the children read to dog puppets. Those who read to real dogs showed increased social skills and more sharing, cooperating, and an interest in volunteering.
In another study, children with autism spectrum disorder became calmer when playing with guinea pigs in a classroom for as little as 10 minutes at a time. While it’s not known exactly why this occurred, it’s thought that the animals presented a safer and less complicated bridge to interactions with humans.
In a recent New York Times article, Dana Smith writes that having a pet is associated with lower blood pressure, a reduced risk of cardiovascular disease and lower rates of death after a heart attack or stroke. In fact, dog ownership was associated with a 24% risk reduction for all causes of mortality as opposed to non-ownership. One obvious explanation is that you cannot sit on the couch all day if you need to get outside to walk your dog. But in a 2016 study, cat owners also demonstrated lower levels of cardiovascular deaths and they don’t need to be walked.
Most researchers believe that the connection as related to physical and mental health is real. For seniors who are isolated, a pet can be transformative. Forced to go out to walk the dog leads to meet-ups with other dog owners and often charming interactions with children wanting to pet her.
Additionally, pet ownership has been associated with lower levels of cognitive decline for seniors living alone. For non-mobile seniors, cats offer the same level of cognitive assistance as dogs with fewer physical demands.
As with older adults, pets bring kids a multitude of advantages. Purdue University professor Gail Melson, in her book, “Why the Wild Things Are: Animals in the Lives of Children,” talks about kids’ early exposure to animal stories and the richness that they provide. For us older adults it was Dumbo and Bambi. Later generations had Big Bird. Today’s kids have Barney and Ms. Rachel’s farm animals.
These animal stories help children begin to be aware of their emotions and are crucial to their early understanding of empathy. How many of us sobbed when Bambi’s mother was killed?
According to my son-in-law, who grew up with two black Labs, “It made me happier as a kid. Our dogs were a much better security blanket than an inanimate stuffed animal … and when I got older, running around with them was almost as enjoyable as having more siblings.”
The advantages to pet-owning involve teaching children responsibility and respect for nature, giving them an opportunity for unconditional love (that they may not get from a sibling), and fostering compassion. A less obvious benefit is the deep psychological connection — when the world feels like a tough place in which to grow up, the comfort that a pet can offer makes things feel less awful.
Dr. Nancy Ashley, a veterinarian friend of mine, told me that COVID marked a turning point in the United States; pet ownership skyrocketed due to the uncertainty and isolation. That period also led to greater overall acceptance of pets. Now many places such as grocery stores and restaurants allow pets instead of only those designated as “service animals.”
Cats generally live 12-16 years while dogs typically live 7-13 years. That means that most families will experience the death of their pet. For well-loved animals, this loss is devastating. The world often doesn’t appreciate the pain involved in this loss, but for those experiencing it, it’s like losing a human family member. As a friend of mine recently put it, “When our first dog died, my husband was crying convulsively, more so than when any of our four parents died.”
This can be even more upsetting when the pet needs to be euthanized. Despite being done to relieve further suffering, this often leads to guilt along with the grief. Dr. Ashley says that this is a weighty decision that no one wants to make, and few feel comfortable with, despite it being the correct choice.
Allowing family members to share their sadness and create a ritual around burial is often the first step toward grief recovery. Some people need time before bringing a new pet into the home. Others do it immediately. There is no right answer.
The right answer is to recognize the importance that pets bring to individuals and to families, to respect this, treat them well, and to allow the love to flourish.
Nancy Green is a social worker and co-chair of the Shelter Island Health and Wellness Committee. Growing up, her cat was named Jingles.
