Shelter Island fathers talk about fatherhood

Should a woman (for example, me) write about Father’s Day?  

Can someone who has never been a father appreciate what it takes, what it feels like to be the male parent of a child? 

I am not one to let lack of experience hold me back. Over the years, I’ve spoken with many Islanders about fatherhood; about their own fathers, and what fatherhood has meant to them. So I decided to let those fathers write my Father’s Day column. 

Call it CharityGPT. 

Rereading these interviews during the moments when I was not watching the Knicks come back from a 29-point deficit, I loved what they had to say and decided to pass the ball to each of them.

So here is the beautiful mosaic of fatherhood.

Fathers take the job seriously

It was hot, he was late. Our apartment was on East 17th so we walked to NYU, slowly. We gave birth and made sure to tell a joke because we wanted a funny kid. Our friends came and took us home in a cab. He’s been wonderful, more than we expected. We did something right. — Stephen Fay

Our kids are hareleggers. At the birth of our daughter, the midwife said my car is in the shop, you’ll have to come and get me. We took the first boat, 5 a.m. to get to Baldwin, beat it on the Sagtikos Parkway, worked our way past a jackknifed tractor-trailer and she was ready to push. Got to the ferry about 3 p.m., and said, ‘Chuck, we’ve got a lady in labor.’ We got home, got her onto the bed and had a baby at 4 p.m. — Tom Hashagen

When my children were born, I went from a career and educational self-focus, to more than just myself. It’s gotten much stronger over time. It’s been interesting to find balance. It grows a little bit every day. — Tom Spotteck

I always have a picture of my wife and my kids in my wallet. — Rich Surozenski

Shelter Island is a great place to raise children. The Island feels safe. Everybody knows each other, and if they see something going wrong, they step up. — Dan Rasmussen

Fathers hear the call of the wild

We went with the kids, and we toured the country, camping. For 2 and ½ months, we were boondocking. Out West, we once pulled up a dirt road onto a bluff that overlooked the Badlands. At Glacier National Park, my wife says, we need bear spray. I said $50 for bear spray? Forget it! We hike a mile into the woods and my son saw a bear eating huckleberries. We went back and bought the bear spray. ­— Tom Cronin

During the pandemic, to get our 5- and 8-year-old boys out of the house safely, we found a 15-year-old who loved to fish and was willing to show us how to do it.  Now they’re both regular winners at the Snapper Derby. — Ted Kenney 

My dad was great at organizing. Everything was a fun event. We were fish mongers.  We’d catch a couple of bushel baskets of flounder and go into town and bang on doors and sell everybody flounders. — Keith Clark

Fathers cook for the family

I’ve been frying pork chops since I was 10. Baked clams and clam chowder. The secret of clam chowder is lots of clams, You need half a bushel of chowders. — Rich Surozenski

I’m good at grilling. Burgers and dogs. — Stephen Adkison

I am the cook, sometimes there are dozens of us. I go clamming with the family and its’ chowder or spaghetti with clam sauce, grilled bluefish or striped bass. We end up with a lot of tomatoes, so I make marinara sauce for everyone. — Ed Klaris

We celebrate Father’s Day. We stay home and cook something. We love grilled pork chops. If I’m grilling, I just use a little pepper, but when my wife is preparing it, she does a really good sauce. —Jose Hernandez

Fathers on fathers

Some of the best times with my dad were the car trips, driving hours from upstate New York to Shelter Island. — Anthony Reiter

My father stopped by every day. Our kids were very fortunate to have their grandfather, and they were showered with love. — John Kaasik 

Every morning I wake up I ask God, ‘Please, I‘d like to be half the man my daddy was, a hell of a man.’ He worked on the railroad, a track man, a strong man. He was like John Henry. — Jim Hayward

Jalen Brunson of the Knicks gave his dad the best Father’s Day present ever — an NBA championship. Jalen powered the Knicks to a victory that his father and all New Yorkers have dreamed of for 50 years. Rick Brunson, a Knicks assistant coach, was a journeyman guard in the 1990s, playing for eight teams, including the Knicks. When the clock hit zeros in the final game, Jalen, always professional, first shook hands with the opposing coach, and then embraced his Dad, crying tears of joy. Later, when a TV host asked Jalen if he could name the only other Knicks player to score 45 points in a playoff game, he grinned and said ‘I’m guessing it wasn’t Rick Brunson.’ — Steve Forman