Island Profile: Karen Sibert Haddy | From L.A. to small town Island life

In some families, Shelter Island is a place that is handed down, from grandparents, to parents, to children, and children’s children.  Dr. Karen Sibert Haddy’s family did it in reverse.

It was Karen’s daughter Arden Ward who introduced her, and eventually her grandfather, George Sullivan, to the joys of Shelter Island. After Mr. Sullivan passed in 2018, Karen and her husband Dr. Steven Haddy moved here, too, living in the home they once bought for her father.

It all started with a July 4th weekend. Karen flew in from LA with her teenage daughter Ariel, and her husband Steve to see her older daughter Arden, who was dating a local man named Andrew Ward, and wanted her family to meet him.

By the time they rented a car and drove out to the North Fork, it was late and when they turned onto Chapel Lane outside Greenport, they were not happy to see the road had no streetlights, landmarks, or houses. Ariel, who displayed a flair for the dramatic, was convinced they had driven into the Blair Witch Project.

Somehow, they found the ferry to Shelter Island, and rolled off into a pitch-dark, empty parking lot in the days before GPS. They began trying to find the house, which was at the very (dark) end of Burns Road across from St. Gabriel’s.

“I am usually calm in most circumstances, but by the time we got there, I was a wreck and we had a hysterical teenager,” said Karen. “We collapsed into bed, woke up the next morning to this incredibly gorgeous day. Looking out over Coecles Harbor … I thought: ‘Yes, marry him.’”

Karen’s father, Gerald Sullivan served in World War II, with the Canadian army. An American citizen, he had been on his way to West Point when he failed the eye exam. Glasses were forbidden, and contacts had not been invented, but Canada was happy to have him, and he served as a sniper and landed at Juno Beach on D-Day. He went into the corporate world after the war, and Ms. Haddy was born in Amarillo, Texas. “I was kind of a corporate brat, my dad moved around, got transferred a lot,” she said.

An only child, Karen had a doting father who was proud of her quick mind and success in school. “I remember him telling me at one point to get a profession, whatever it is,” she said. “He said that women have a hard time in the business world, but if you get an actual profession, you’ll be O.K.”

North Texas in the ‘50s and ‘60s was not a place where very many little girls were encouraged to become doctors but by the time Karen was a senior in college, she realized that there were a whole lot of people who were no smarter than she was that were going to medical school, an observation that set her on the path to become an anesthesiologist.

One of the rare people who thrives in tense environments, Karen was drawn to work in the operating room as a key member of the team. “You must know what you’re doing,” she said. “You have to stay calm. Somebody asked me once if I’d ever been close to tears in the operating room, from a sad case, or from a difficult surgeon, or whatever. I said, ‘Not to tears, but I’ve been close to homicide.’”

She worked for 16 years at Los Angeles Cedars Sinai and is past President of the California Society of Anesthesiologists. Retired now, she remains active in professional affairs. She also has a master’s in theological studies in Orthodox theology from the Pittsburgh Theological Seminary and the Antiochian House of Studies. 

In 1992, Karen joined the Army Reserves and served until 1999. On Shelter Island, she’s active with the American Legion Auxiliary, supporting veterans and their families.

A career in the sciences was not an easy road for a woman in the 80s and 90s, and the way is still not smooth. “This is one piece of advice I would give to younger women. You know, we all need mentors,” she said. “If I hadn’t had mentors all through college and all through medical school, I would have gotten nowhere. A mentor doesn’t have to look like you or come from your kind of background or think like you. Accept people for what they are and learn from them what you can.”

Karen’s daughters Arden and Ariel are from her first marriage, which ended. Her son Thomas is a physician, a pulmonologist in a rural hospital in Ohio. She met her husband Steve, who was also a working doctor, in a slow-moving buffet line at a professional meeting. They married in 1998.

In 2012. Karen was sandwiched between the needs of an aging father and a daughter who needed her. “I’m an only child, working in Los Angeles, with a daughter having babies here, and a dad in South Carolina,” she said. “I’m using up all my vacation time flying this triangle, and I thought, this is crazy.”

Karen came to Shelter Island to see her daughter Arden, who had just welcomed a second child. Out for a walk with both babies, they saw a charming house for sale in the Center. Karen called her father in South Carolina and said she was thinking of buying him a house near Arden and his great-grand-babies, “He was pretty cool about it,” Karen said. “He said, ‘Well, that sounds like a reasonable plan.’”

Karen and Steve purchased the house that her father would live in until his passing in 2018 and moved in after Steve retired in 2023.

When Karen became a full-time Shelter Island resident after decades in Los Angeles, she had a big adjustment. “This is the first time I’ve ever lived in a small town. I have to say, I love it,” she said. “It takes a while. I think people in a small town are like cats. You have to take your time, be willing to be patient, let them come to you. Try to push yourself into any situation, it’s not necessarily good. But you get to know people, and they’re just the nicest people in the world.”

Along with a new life in a small town, came a new dog, Dixie, a sweet mutt who gets along with Karen’s cats and came from a shelter in Alabama, bringing an appreciation for living in the present.

“I think this is the best day ever,” Karen said. “There’s always going to be something to worry about. There’s always something around the corner that you’re not going to like. But all you have is this minute.”

Lightning Round — Karen Sibert Haddy

What do you always have with you? An Orthodox cross.

Favorite place on Shelter Island? Wades Beach.

Favorite place not on Shelter Island? Edinburgh.

When was the last time you were elated? I was thrilled to get Dixie. She gives me a tremendous amount of joy.

What is the best day of the year on Shelter Island? The day before Christmas, there’s just all the anticipation for your little kids. It’s just a magical day.

Favorite movie or book? Pride and Prejudice

Most respected elected official? Eisenhower.