Memories, issues and concerns at Reporter Forum on military service

Despite its small population, Shelter Island has a remarkable record of military service stretching back centuries. Justine Karen, an archivist with the Shelter Island History Museum, addressed this record at the latest Reporter Community Forum on Nov. 5 at the Shelter Island Presbyterian Church’s Fellowship Hall.

Sponsored by Suffolk Security Systems, Attorney at Law Sandra V. Saiegh, Dime Bank, Mattituck Environmental Services and North Ferry, a distinguished panel took questions from the Reporter’s Charity Robey on personal memories and reflections on service; new upgrades for the Island’s American Legion Post; the advantages of joining the military; new initiatives on the State and County level to address veterans’ often arduous return to civilian life; and the state of the Veterans Administration today.

Ms. Robey began by noting that “all is not well with our veterans.” She cited estimates from the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs that there are about 18 veteran suicides per day, including Suffolk resident Lance Cpl. Filipe Feitor Runa DaSilva, a 22-year-old who died by suicide in 2021 after he was honorably discharged from the Marine Corps. 

Joseph Cognitore, 79, a commander for VFW Post 6249 in Rocky Point, has said veterans can be reluctant to discuss mental health. “Everybody holds it in. We all have post-traumatic stress,” he added, an issue that was addressed later in the Forum. 

Ms. Robey also said in her introduction that “we also know that military service does not guarantee access to a middle-class life, and that food insecurity and affordable housing are problems that plague veterans at the same rate as those who did not give years of service to their country.”

Joining at 18 Against Her Family’s Wishes

A poignant reflection on service at the Forum came from Laurene Silvani, Islander and U.S. Navy veteran. She spoke of being a senior in high school and enlisting without telling her parents, who wanted her to continue her education. But she rebelled and “snuck off to Riverhead to meet with a recruiter. Next thing you know, I was enlisting. It wasn’t received well by my parents, to say the least.”

She was in basic training on Sept. 11, 2001 and everything was accelerated across the military services. Ms. Silvani was assigned to the USS John F. Kennedy, an aircraft carrier, where she was one of six women in her division that had a total of 250 personnel. She worked on the flight deck, assisting in recovery of aircraft. She was also a bugler and attended “countless burials at sea.” 

Ms. Silvani said at times her service, starting when she was 18, could be extremely “challenging, I learned commitment and core values. Challenging, but it was a good way to grow up.”

Legion Upgrades

Michael “Zack” Mundy, a Marine combat veteran who served in Afghanistan, is the commander of the Island’s American Legion Mitchell Post 281. He spoke about efforts to make the post, located in the basement of the Community Center, more accessible and comfortable for members and visitors, including updating the kitchen. “We’d like to do more events” and also get the bowling alley back.

Mr. Mundy praised the Town and the Lions Club for contributing to the upgrades and getting an elevator installed. “There’s a chairlift, but we’d like to get an elevator installed,” Mr. Mundy said. “Vets are stubborn and a lot don’t want to use the chairlift,” he said to laughter from the audience.  

This was a theme brought up several times during the evening, of veterans unwilling for several reason to reach out for assistance. Mr. Mundy said later in the Forum that after he returned home from duty in a combat zone, “I was hesitant to go the VA for help. I thought I didn’t need it.” But he finally realized he needed help to process his experiences “and I go every three months to the VA to see a psychiatrist to talk to someone about what I went through.”

County And State Assistance 

Legis. Greg Doroski (D-Riverhead), the Island’s representative in the Suffolk County Legislature, spoke about laws on the County and State level specifically crafted for veterans, noting the many services available at the Suffolk County Veterans Services Agency. Picking up the theme of the reluctance of certain vets to seek help, Mr. Doroski said some thought of help as being “a handout,” when they have earned it because of their service. He spoke about Suffolk County home heating assistance, urging those entitled to reach out to the Veterans Service Administration, which has an office in Riverhead.

“At the  County level, Legis. Chad Lennon’s bill provided a property tax exemption for seriously disabled veterans, allowing for 15% of their assessed value,” Mr. Doroski said. He also mentioned the State Legislature had approved a bill extending property tax exemption to vets who served on submarines or classified missions.

And one piece of legislation that passed the Assembly but stalled in the Senate would establish a Veterans Health Care review to study PTSD, suicide and other health issues. 

There’s hope it can be reintroduced. Mr. Doroski also urged veterans to get in touch with his office if they needed assistance.

Strongpoint

James “Jimbo” Theinert spoke about this brother, Lt. Joseph Theinert, a Army officer killed in combat in Afghanistan and how both boys growing up were taught “how to learn to be good citizens.”

Lt. Theinert died protecting the men under his command. Mr. Theinert — a math and business teacher at the Shelter Island School — told the Forum’s audience, “When Joey was home before his deployment, he said the only thing he wanted was for all his men to come home safely. They did. But he didn’t.” 

After his death, the Theinert family established the Strongpoint Theinert Ranch in the Magdalena Mountains of New Mexico in 2013, which hosts veterans for restorative retreats. Mr. Theinert spoke of another theme of the evening that almost all combat veterans suffer from PTSD, and many also are plagued with “survivor’s guilt. The idea of, ‘Why him? Why not me?’”

He also noted and found agreement with other panelists and members of the audience that veterans are trained to serve “but are never trained on how to leave” their service, which often results in serious mental and emotional health problems. The five-day retreats bring veterans and at times their families together to help that re-training process of living a healthy civilian life.

The VA 

Panelist Karen Sibert Haddy is a retired anesthesiologist and a veteran of the U.S. Army Reserve where she served from 1992 to 1999. As a physician, she joined as a captain and was a major at the time of her discharge. Currently treasurer of the Island’s Legion Auxiliary, Dr. Haddy began by saying that the Auxiliary is no longer just for women “but anyone can join.” The organization helps the community in numerous ways, she said, supporting veterans and their families, including food assistance, counseling and other services. On the state of the VA these days, she began by saying, “I know we’re all sick of politics” but felt it important to say that the current administration has gutted the VA. In 2025 the staff was reduced by more than 40,000 individuals, she said, including 1,000 physicians and 3,000 nurses. 

“Veterans in crisis need health services,” Haddy said.

Mr. Theinert said that Strongpoint is always in touch with the VA to help veterans. “People are owed services,” he added and “need a central hub to connect.”

Mr. Mundy said he and veterans he knows have nothing but praise for the VA. Audience member Joe Felise, an Air Force veteran from the Vietnam War-era, became emotional as he said, “The VA saved my life. They helped tremendously. And they saved my brother’s life. The VA is fantastic. All the employees have us in their hearts.”

Audience member Sharon Morgan spoke about her husband Bob, a Vietnam veteran who became a Shelter Island School teacher and was helped by the VA along the way. He went to school on the G.I. Bill and got his teaching degree and used benefits when his health declined. 

“Not one bill ever came to our house,” Ms. Morgan said, pausing at times to gather herself emotionally. When it was time for Bob to go in for extended care, he entered a VA facility that “was beautiful,” Ms. Morgan said.

Mr. Mundy and Mr. Theinert remembered Mr. Morgan with affection as a beloved figure to students and families on the Island.

Mr. Mundy said a few days before he left for Marine Corps boot camp, Mr. Morgan asked him if would help him move his refrigerator. The refrigerator was in the basement and when they arrived, young Zack asked Mr. Morgan where they were moving it. “He said, ‘We’re moving the beer in it upstairs so we can drink it,’” Mr. Mundy said to laughter. 

It brought the evening to a close on happy note of a remembered kindness from a veteran to a young man who in a short time would be leaving home to prepare to go to war.