Getting the kids ready for school: Two parents weigh in on late summer chores

Think you’re busy? Try keeping pace with Kate Davidson or Barbara Marshall, two working moms who are getting two kids ready for school opening on Sept. 8.

Kate and husband Matt will see Marley, who will be 4 in November, off to her first day of school in Pre-K and Ainsley, who will be 15 in October, entering her sophomore year in high school. For the Marshall family, Barbara and Will are helping Gracie, 12, get ready for 7th grade and William, 15, for his sophomore year.

Both women have jobs. Ms. Davidson works for Shelter Island Taxi and during the academic year in the school’s cafeteria; Ms. Marshall works at Peconic Bay Medical Center in the Peconic Bay Medical Center Patient and Family-centered Care dpartment. And, of course, their other full-time jobs are raising children. This time of year, that means moving gently but resolutely to get the kids off summer schedules and on to school schedules, and shopping for clothes, school supplies, backpacks, water bottles, and other items that every 21st century school student needs. Or, at least, wants.

Ainsley, Marley, Will and Gracie are four of the 180 students entering Shelter Island School next week. They’re also numbered in the U.S. Census Bureau’s estimate of 54.4 million K-12 students along with 5.9 million teachers set to return to the classroom this September. According to the Census Bureau, teachers make up the majority of the more than 10 million people working in the nation’s elementary and secondary schools.

Busy, oh yes. But you won’t hear either woman complaining about launching their kids back to school.

Structuring the Day

Ms. Davidson is proud of her two girls. Ainsley had her first job working this summer as a camp counselor at Sylvester Manor. “It was the perfect intro for her to the world of work,” she said. “Not too many hours and not too much stress.” She is also her sister’s sitter. 

“I’m so happy that Marley is really excited about going to school,” Ms. Davidson said. Marley attended the pre-school program at the Presbyterian Church, but now “she’ll be playing on the big playground and seeing a lot of her friends.” 

Asked how she’ll get her two girls back to structuring their days around a school schedule, Ms. Davidson laughed. But it won’t be too difficult, she said, considering that Ainsley was on a work schedule and Marley’s excitement about starting school will help getting her ready for early bedtime and early awakenings. 

It’s a challenge for parents, and not just because of kids’ stubbornness about giving up long lazy summer days and nights. Children, especially teens, need more sleep than any other age group. According to Johns Hopkins pediatrician and researcher Michael Crocetti, teens need 9 to 9.5 hours sleep a night, an hour more than when they were 10 years old. “Teenagers are going through a second developmental stage of cognitive maturation,” Dr. Crocetti said. The extra hour of sleep supports their developing brain and helps the overall health of the body during physical growth spurts.

Ms. Davidson slowly started getting the girls on new routines about a week ago. 

As for shopping, the sophomore in the family “needs everything,” her mother said. A new backpack, water bottle and new additions to her wardrobe, especially baggy jeans, many items to be found at Riverhead’s Tanger Mall. Fortunately, Ainsley saved her money from her summer job and is able to pay for almost everything herself. She also “can pay for some fun hair colors,” Ms. Davidson said. A nice shade of blue, now; Ainsley is undecided what comes next.

The school sends out a list of what students will need for class work and homework, as in paper, writing materials, etc. Ms. Davidson said she still has some left-over school supplies but the bill will probably be around $100.

It can get expensive. The National Retail Federation is forecasting that U.S. families will spend $43.3 billion to get K-12 students suited up for school, up from $39.4 billion from last year.

What Ms. Davidson is really not looking forward to is “10th grade homework. Trying to get her to sit down after school and get into that rhythm,” she said. “But we will get it done.”

Being Accountable

William Marshall, like Ainsley Davidson, had his first job this summer, working full time at the Island Boatyard. “The staff there are absolutely wonderful,” Ms. Marshall said. “They all had such a great attitude. It was a great experience for him.”

Gracie Marshall also had a busy summer, volunteering at the library. At 12, going in to the 7th grade, her first year of secondary school, she’s excited, which like the Davidson children makes it easier on her parents to get her ready and motivated.

Like Ms. Davidson, Ms. Marshall couldn’t help laughing when asked about changing schedules for her kids. “It hasn’t been going well,” she said. “Getting a kid on track can be very hard. If you want to do something 15 minutes earlier than usual, that’s one thing. Having to do something earlier, not so much.” 

But one of the key strategies she uses with William and Gracie is to stress “accountability. But not just to yourself. You have to make them aware that accountability involves everyone. If I’m late, for example, it just doesn’t hurt me, but hurts everyone in the class and the teacher. It’s a team effort to be accountable.”

It’s not just the first day of school that her children have to be ready for. “First day, it’s exciting, back to school, something new, seeing friends you haven’t seen  all summer, that’s easy,” Ms. Marshall said. “After that is when accountability comes in.”

Gracie and William have the advantage that they will want to be in school with friends and teachers for the whole year, Ms. Marshall said.

About shopping, she said with a smile, “Amazon and I have a very unhealthy relationship.” She has consulting sessions with William and Gracie where they go over what’s needed and wanted and then order. Taking a teenager into a store, she added, “You won’t be able to leave without paying $500.”

Gracie is spending money to decorate her school locker. “I never knew that was a thing,” Ms. Marshall said. Just the right mirrors, and shelves seem to be important to store important items, including books.

Another expense comes since both children are on the school’s golf team, so clothes and shoes can be expensive items, although there are clothes and items already at home they can re-use.

Ms. Marshall’s enthusiasm is rubbing off on William and Gracie. “The change of season and something starting up with the new school year makes it such an exciting time of year,” she said.