Seniors: From the Grumpy Grammarian…

There have been a few reports of grammatical lapses since the Grumpy Grammarian’s last blast in print. But before bringing them to your attention, let me tell you about a message on my answering machine on Labor Day, September 5.

It was a ship-to-shore transmission, and I wasn’t able to catch either the name of the vessel or its captain. He was returning to his home  port in Connecticut from, I believe, Dering Harbor. Again the Shelter Island connection wasn’t clear. All he wanted to say was that, like you, he enjoyed reading this column.

Let’s look at today’s reports.

• From Dorothy B. of North Menantic Road. She overhead someone at the library saying, “Make sure everyone has their library card.” The culprit in this statement is “their.” Since the pronoun “everyone” is singular, the corresponding pronoun should be singular. The “someone in the library” should have said, “Make sure everyone has his library card,” or better yet, “his/her library card.” We are, after all, in the 21st century where we at least pay lip service to equal rights for women.

• Let’s transition to a report from Jean D. of South Midway Road. Occasionally when she is lunching with friends, she has a waiter who asks, “What do you guys want to eat?” She finds his query insensitive if not downright sexist. It’s not, however, a grammatical lapse. You said you wanted to write a letter, Jean. Be more proactive; gather up your friends and stomp out of the restaurant. I dare not suggest you punch him in the nose.

• Finally we come to a grammatical lapse in the Reporter itself. The headline for editor Peter Boody’s report on the most recent developments in the Senior Activity Center’s kitchen renovation saga reads, “Flaw in senior kitchen plans require a new county review.” “Flaw” is a third person singular subject and its corresponding verb should be in the third person singular — “requires” not “require.”

Our finicky, anti-faddist Dorothy Seiberling is vacationing in Italy with beloved husband Sid Stiber and will return to print in November. Her perceptions and prose are impeccable.

Meanwhile, don’t hesitate to call me at 749-0751. No grammatical lapse on Shelter Island should go unreported.