Island Profile | Ala Hakim, extending a helping hand to Islanders in need

Ala Hakim has been spending summers on Shelter Island all her life, but it wasn’t until the panicky first days of the pandemic, when she and her husband and two young children fled the city for Shelter Island that she truly became an Islander. 

“It turned into four years, and we stayed because I love Shelter Island. It’s a dream place to be,” Ms. Hakim said. “The community is so tight knit.”

Still, she says it took a good two years for her to break in, “to go into the IGA, say hi to four different people and then go to The Islander and know the waitress.” 

And when she became the Town’s Social Worker in 2023, she began to fully appreciate the reality of life here. “When I was just a summer person, I didn’t realize how financially insecure some local people are. It’s a tenuous existence for a lot of people, which no one realizes because summer people aren’t here during the off season.”

Ms. Hakim’s mother started visiting the Island in the 60s, when Ala was a kid living in Valley Stream, Long Island, and her little brother was sent to Camp Quinipet, which was, at the time, a reform school. The family accompanied their son in need of reform, and now Ms. Hakim’s children are the third generation to make Shelter Island their summer home. 

She grew up in Chappaqua, N.Y., went to public school and then starting in 7th grade, to the Convent of the Sacred Heart in Greenwich. She went to the University of Pennsylvania and took time off to work for Sen. Hillary Clinton (D) in 2004 when “My Life,” Bill Clinton’s 1,000 page tell-all memoir came out. 

“It was very dramatic,” she said, of a time that was very difficult for Hillary Clinton as well as her staff.

During her time in Sen. Clinton’s office, she worked closely with legislative aides and decided she should go to law school. She went back to the University of Pennsylvania for a law degree, went into corporate law and found herself immersed in the financing documents of commercial real estate. She hated it.

Somewhere along the line, she’d forgotten why she went to law school. In December 2013, at the hard end of a long relationship, Ms. Hakim was living in Florida, and ready to move back to New York. She applied to social work school and went on a double date with her old friend, Roxanna from middle school, who knew just the right guy.. 

Ms. Hakim’s date with Christopher Snyder went well. The next time they met she said, “He weirdly circled around me, and when Roxanna asked what he was doing, said, ‘I just wanted to make sure she’s as good-looking as I remembered.’ Which might explain why he was still single at 37.” 

Now they’re married with two children, James, 10, and Claire, 8. Both went to the Shelter Island School for years. “They were extremely mad when we moved,” said Ms. Hakim, referring to the family’s decision to live on Shelter Island during summers and in New Canaan, Conn. during the school year.

Once she had her master’s in social work, she worked for Legal Aid in the Bronx, representing kids in the family court system, mostly in foster care. She stopped when she had James, and began teaching part-time at Columbia, which she has continued to do for 10 years.

Ms Hakim became the Town of Shelter Island Social Worker, a part-time position, in 2023. Her office is in the basement of Justice Court, but she’s rarely there. “It used to be a morgue,” she said. Most of the people who contact her for help do so by phone after being referred, and when she’s not speaking to clients on the phone or by video, from her home in New Canaan, she’s calling on clients at home during visits to the Island every two weeks. 

“I’m a volunteer service,” she said. “No one’s mandated to see me.” 

She usually talks with clients for an hour just to get to know them, sets up a time to meet shortly thereafter, and then goes on to help them pursue their goal. About 60% of her work is helping people apply for entitlements, such as SNAP, HEAP, Social Security, Medicaid and Medicare; and connecting them to programs and benefits. The other 40% of her time is counseling for mental health crises, such as hoarding and domestic violence.

She helps victims of domestic violence to understand their options and make a plan. “Most people don’t have any savings or jobs and are really tied in with their abuser,” she said. “On average, it takes seven tries to leave an abusive partner, so I’m in touch with them over a period of years. Everyone should know, I’m completely confidential. I won’t tell even tell the police what clients tell me, unless the clients want me to.”

Lately she’s seen an increase in people reaching out for help with applying for HEAP, which is a government program that helps you pay your heating oil bill. She also connects people with CAST, Gift of Life, The Lions Club, and faith leaders.

Ms. Hakim works with Thrive, East End New York a recovery center, to hold retreats at Camp Quinipet. Described as “A substance-free day of restoration open to anyone on a recovery journey,” the first retreat drew 50 participants. It was so well-received it was followed by a mini-retreat at the Dering Harbor Inn. This year’s retreat, on Nov. 7, will include movement and meditation, art therapy, and lunch from The Lettuce Lady in community with peers. The event is already fully subscribed. 

Ms. Hakim loves her work helping Shelter Islanders live better, healthier and happier lives, a far cry from her days of corporate lawyering, and some might call it less glamorous.  Ms. Hakim would not be one of those people. “I’m not judgmental at all. I’ve seen it all. Nothing can surprise me,” she said. “I keep coming back because I love this work, and I love everyone on Shelter Island.”

LIGHTNING ROUND — ALA HAKIM

What do you always have with you? I always have this bracelet, my bracelet that reminds me of my children.

Favorite place on Shelter Island? The Goody Pile.

Favorite place not on Shelter Island? London.

When was the last time you were elated? It will be the first time my husband apologizes without prompting.

What exasperates you? People who think they’re better than other people.

Favorite sports/teams? Yankees.

What is the best day of the year on Shelter Island? The Bartilucci Halloween party.

Favorite movie or book? ‘American Dirt,’ by Jeanine Cummins.