Love in a cold climate, with some isolation: Romance on the rock

What does it mean to live on an island when you are part of a couple? A honeymoon vacation that never ends?

Or a life of exile cut off from friends and family?

On the occasion of Valentine’s Day, we asked a variety of Islanders in committed relationships to tell us what living here means to a long-term romantic relationship.

Pepe Martinez. He and Lydia have been together for 15 years.
Lydia goes to Slovakia every year to visit her family, so she misses Valentine’s Day here. The first night she was away, I fell asleep on the couch, got up in the morning and went to work. When I got home that night, I got into our bed and went to sleep, and then woke up trying to move my pillow to get it to be comfortable. Underneath that pillow, there was a Valentine’s Card. I didn’t even see it until the second night she was away. It was very emotional. She is a sweet woman. She thought about everything before she left.

Moving to this Island is the best thing I ever did. This Island is a shelter. Maybe not as many places to go out, but when you do, you always feel like you’re with your best friends.

Joanne Sherman. She and Hoot have been together for over 50 years.
We’ve lived many places before we came to the Island, and it’s all been good. We both think, all things considered, it’s not about where you are, it’s who you are. Except when it comes to winter, it is about where you are!

Cindy Belt. She and Mark Cappellino have been together for 30 years.
We’re pretty low maintenance people — if we want some excitement we can always go off-Island to make things extra-special. Some people can think living on an island as limiting, Mark and I don’t feel that way. We both pretty much feel that if you have a good relationship you can live anywhere.

Dulcinea Benson. She and Frank DeCarlo have been together for 20 years.
I think the main effect of being on an island is you’re stuck together, but in a good way. There are very few distractions, especially in the winter, and quality time together really happens whether you like it or not — disconnected from the outside but reconnecting on the inside.

Lois Morris. She and Bob Lipsyte have been together for most of two decades.
We don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day. But Shelter Island has a miraculous effect on long-term relationships, since we met here 20 years ago, married 14 years ago, and as of last year we’re living here full-time.

Jean Ely. She and Robert Jacobs have been together for 11 years.
Living on an island adds an intensity to relationships of all kinds, even if the feeling of isolation is largely fictional. Of course, we can get on the ferry, but the ferry only runs every fifteen minutes, and in the meantime, we’re stuck with each other.

Gayle Scarberry. She and Mel have been together for 11 years.
It’s really good to have someone. You get cabin fever, if you didn’t have that you would go crazy. You really have to like your partner. I escape into my craft room. We’re together in the kitchen at The Chequit all the time, but I insist on prepping in the morning to have some alone time.

Jenna Wright. She and Zachary Reylek have been together for over three years.
On Valentine’s Day, we might give each other something silly. One year I gave Zach a cactus that was spiny but easy to take care of. Living on an island is good and bad. Too much isolation and you can get on each other’s nerves, but on the other hand, when it’s really quiet, it’s nice to have someone to be with and to talk to.

Seth Nathan. He and Casey Garrison have been together for over three years and are spending their first Valentine’s Day on Shelter Island.
We’ve never gone out to dinner on Valentine’s Day. It’s a day when I’m always working. We’ll give each other a nod or a thumbs-up. Casey was the first to mention Valentine’s Day this year. Maybe the cold, lonely winter is making him a little sappy.