Is it really time to go back to school? Two Shelter Island moms on getting it together

For parents getting their children prepared for the end of summer days and back to a school year, it’s a time of planning, shopping, taking the emotional temperatures of their kids, and helping them navigate stresses brought on by a sudden change of daily routines.

We spoke to a couple of Island moms on getting set for School Year 2024-2025, which begins Wednesday, Sept. 4.

THE BARTILUCCI FAMILY

Amanda Bartilucci laughed when she was asked if she is busy these days.

“No, not all,” said the owner and manager of Elli’s Country Store on South Ferry Road, who has worked this summer on projects with her husband’s company, Bartilucci Construction, and faces the daily whirlwind of not just raising a 4-year-old, a 7-year-old, and a 14-year-old, but is also getting them ready for the first day of school.

David, Jr., the 4-year-old, and Lexi the teenager, are excited about going back to school. But Coco, 7, entering the 2nd grade is “a bit nervous,” Ms. Bartilucci said, as summer comes to an end and the school routine looms. “She’s the middle child and is the most dramatic. She has the biggest personality of the three.”

Education experts agree that being apprehensive about going back to school is, for most children, a normal reaction, but one that should be addressed by parents.

One comfort for Coco is that her teacher this year will be Elizabeth Eklund, and Ms. Eklund’s daughter, Evy, is a good friend of Coco’s. “So she knows her new teacher, and spent time with her, and really likes her, which makes it easier,” Ms. Bartilucci said.

Preparing for a new schedule of getting up earlier when school opens has helped Coco overcome a trace of anxiety, and helped the other kids as well. “In the summer we don’t have a set bedtime. The kids can stay up a little later,” Ms. Bartilucci said. “We always like to take a walk before bedtime, and the last week or so we’ve taken our walks about 7:30 to be ready for bed by 8.”

It can be a shock for kids to be ready to walk into school at 8 a.m., and getting used to an earlier bedtime helps. Another way of helping the kids have an easier transition and getting them in a good frame of mind is new backpacks. Ms. Bartilucci didn’t stint on expense for them.

“It’s important that they last,” she said. “We got a list of school supplies the kids will need from the school and after we got the supplies, the kids had fun packing up the backpacks. That helped them get ready and happy to be going back.”

Expense is a serious consideration every parent faces preparing for the school year. According to the online data collection firm Statista, “The average planned back-to-school spending per household in the United States gradually increased year-on-year, reaching about $890 in 2023. While this was an increase of over $400 since the beginning of the survey period in 2004, the numbers had begun to fall back down by 2024. This year, U.S. consumers planned to spend an average of $875 on back-to-school purchases.”

Back to school is big business. The National Retail Federation reports that total back-to-school spending is expected to reach $38.8 billion, the second-highest figure on record, after last year’s high of $41.5 billion.

Ms. Bartilucci didn’t spend the average amount, but it’s early, she said, estimating that so far she’s budgeted about $200 for each child, which includes backpacks, lunch boxes and new sneakers. “I don’t buy too many new clothes for the kids this early, but we’ll spend more for clothes when the weather turns colder.”

If Coco takes some attention to getting ready, the youngest, David Jr., is ready to go, even though his transition, like his older sister’s, is a big one. David is entering pre-school at what the family is calling “the big school” and Lexi is entering high school. Last year David attended the Shelter Island Early Childhood Learning Center.

“The kids would walk over to the big school during the day so he knows what it’s like to be there in the building,” Ms. Bartilucci said. “He’s very excited and has no fear of school.”

Part of that is the boy’s vibrant personality and also his kindergarten teacher is Leah Stumme, who he knows from the Early Childhood Learning Center. “She’s a lovely person,” Ms. Bartilucci said. “And there are a lot of boys in his class to play with.”

Lexi entering high school “is the hardest on me, the most emotional” she said. “She’s really growing up, and at that age, you know, they’re already like little adults.”

Lexi is ready, her mom said, even eager for school to start and to enter the 9th grade. She’s had a good summer, working at White Oak Farm, and she’s started two-a-day volleyball practices for the junior varsity team.

“She prefers to be busy,” Ms. Bartilucci said, noting that Lexi’s always lending a hand around the house. “She’s become really interested in cooking, which is great fun.”

One thing the Bartilucci family is excited about is the Back-to-School Barbecue on Friday, Sept. 13, always a happy day for the school community and Islanders in general.

Will there be a large exhale once the children are off to school next Wednesday morning? “Oh, yes, “Ms. Bartilucci said. “I love when school starts. No babysitters, and the first or second day after school starts, a group of friends of mine, other moms, go to lunch to celebrate.”

THE SHIELDS FAMILY

Karena Shields will also have a moment to take a sigh of relief next Wednesday when the Shields children, Marco, who turned 11 this month and will enter 6th grade, and Sena, 9, who will be going into 4th grade.

Ms. Shields works from home for Crown Home Mortgage, so there will be a bit more privacy during school hours, even though the kids are mostly active outside the house in the summer. “And since the kids are older now, even when they’re home, it’s not as hands-on.”

For Sena, the start of the school year is “bittersweet,” Ms. Shields said. “She’s a free spirit and likes to do her own thing and doesn’t seek out structure.” Ms. Shields added that all children thrive with structure to their days, and all like being organized, whether they admit it or not. So, going back to school for Sena will be more sweet than bitter.

Marco makes no secret of his love of structure, she said. But unlike his sister, he’s “a bit nervous,” as the first day of school approaches. Asked if he’s a good student, Ms. Shields said, “He’s a great student.” That’s a factor why he’s a little nervous. “He’s a bit of a perfectionist, and wants to be incredibly amazing at all things. He’s really competitive.”

Asked where he gets that, Ms. Shields said she and her husband are responsible. “Both Jason and I are competitive.”

Another reason for nerves is that it will be something new for Marco, who is going into 6th grade, the start of middle school. “When I went into 6th grade it was still elementary school,” Ms. Shields said. “But not now. It’s a big deal. You switch classrooms through the day. You have your own locker. You have different teachers. And more is expected of you.”

To lessen her son’s apprehension, Ms. Shields reminds him that Shelter Island is a small place, and that he knows all the people he’ll be going to school with. That has helped.

As for getting the kids on a new schedule, Marco has decided by himself to get up earlier. “He wants to wake up at 7,” she said. This trait comes from only one parent, Ms. Shields said. “I’ve been chronically late my whole life. Jason is always on time.”

Sena might take after her mother when it comes to getting used to the earlier hours.

As for budgeting for school, Ms. Shields said, “We’re fortunate that my mother-in-law is really generous in getting back-to-school clothes for the kids. And I get the list of supplies needed from the school and we get that early.”

One afternoon last week she was driving Sena to a dress rehearsal for a play that was being put on by her camp. “She loves performing,” Ms. Shields said. And her daughter was looking forward to the play, and another opening — School Year 2024-2025.