A day of honor, respect, memory and community: The 2025 Shelter Island Memorial Day ceremonies

Danielle Ferrer and her daughter Fiona, 6, got to the Center early on Memorial Day morning for the annual parade and ceremonies, and picked a shady spot on the grass median of North Ferry Road. Their son and brother, Noah Lava, was marching in the parade with the Little Leaguers, and they wanted to be close enough to cheer him on. 

Ms. Ferrer grew up on the Island and the annual parade and ceremonies are traditions she’s passing on to her children. Speaking with other folks who attended the parade, on a day of deep blue skies and a light wind just strong enough to stir flags into life, the day was one for family, traditions, and connections to the past, as well as honoring Islanders and other Americans killed in action in America’s wars.

Ms. Ferrer especially remembers her father, George, a former Town Police Chief, on Memorial Day. “He was always here,” she said. “There are a lot of memories.”

Fiona was asked if she was looking forward to the post-parade barbecue sponsored by the Lions Club, and when she paused, her mother answered for her, “Yes!” which brought a bright smile from the 6-year-old.

The Payano Family was just pulling into the Center Post office parking lot. Parents Kristin and Carlos were shepherding Jordan, 7 (“and a half,” she insisted), and Carter, 9. Jordan would be marching with the Girl Scouts. As for the barbecue, they weren’t sure, but Mr. Payano for sure wouldn’t make it because he was due for a day of work later.

“It’s a day of respect,” he said. “A day you can teach the kids what respect is all about, and remember the sacrifices others have made for us. And it’s a great family day.”

Jen Gulluscio had her spot picked out near police headquarters. She noted that Memorial Day is the bright line marking the beginning of summer, with “lots of family activities, kids outside. I like the ceremonies, to listen to the names that are mentioned, all the old Island names, and remembering.”  

Ivy Williams and Will Dixon were doing a brisk business in front of Dandy Liquor selling small flags. “We’ve had 10 sales in 15 minutes,” Will said.

The parade stepped off from the Center Firehouse at precisely 10 a.m. led by an honor guard, antique fire trucks and cars carrying Island veterans. First responders were represented, as well as the Daughters of the American Revolution, the Lions Club and youth groups. Musicians from Shelter Island School laid down lively beats as the crowd applauded the passing parade.

In front of the Community Center on Wilson Circle (named for James Wilson Jr., the Shelter Island service member who died in Vietnam) American Legion Commander Michael Zack Mundy, a Marine Corps combat veteran, welcomed the crowd. “As we stand here, let us pause and reflect on the profound debt we owe to those who answered freedom’s call and laid down their lives to protect the liberties we hold so dear,” he said. “We should honor their memory by living lives worthy of their sacrifice, by upholding the values they fought to defend, and by ensuring that their legacy of courage and patriotism shine brightly for generations to come.”

Father Charles McCarron, pastor of St. Mary’s Episcopal Church, gave the invocation, asking those assembled “to take a moment to gather ourselves.” Father McCarron said that “in the solemnity of the moment we have come not as partisans, but as an assembly of hearts.” He prayed that, “Each name, each story, each sacrifice should stand against the tide of hatred, that we honor the past to inspire a bright future.”

An exquisite  rendition of the National Anthem was sung by Sara Mundy, Shelby Mundy and Jessie King, their strong, lovely voices in harmony, bringing the old words new meaning in the sudden silence of the day. Linda Bonaccorso followed with an equally beautiful “God Bless America,” with the crowd softly singing along. 

Rita Gates, of the American Legion Auxiliary, followed, introducing the featured speaker, Auxiliary member Sharon Gibbs. Ms. Gibbs spoke of the mission of the Auxiliary, advocating for veterans and educating the public, and “mentoring youth, and promoting good citizenship, peace and security.” She said “the tradition of attending parades like ours can be a great way to show your children the importance of remembering the true cost of war. It is a way to start a discussion about the sacrifices that have been made to provide us with the freedoms we enjoy as Americans.”

Ms. Gibbs recalled past Memorial days, “With many memories flashing in my mind. Over the years I have marched as a Girl Scout starting in 1st grade, when I became a Brownie, and on into high school.” She drew smiles of recognition from many when she continued, “Playing my clarinet as a member of the high school band wearing the heavy, hot blue and white band uniforms and the big tall  hats … I can see my Great Uncle Sid Beckwith marching with the American Legion. I see my husband Jeffrey in his Legion uniform standing with his mother Betsy by the memorial rocks or standing at attention before firing his gun during the salute.”

But a childhood memory is most vivid to her, Ms. Gibbs said. “Watching Gold Star Mother Mrs. Gen Wilson proudly honoring her late son, Marine Sgt. James Wilson Jr., each year at the parade … As a child, knowing someone who had a family member die in war was so confusing … My innocence as a child could only understand peace.

And later learning of the death of Lt. Joseph Theinert, killed-in-action in Afghanistan “was more confusing, as I understood the true sacrifice  and hardship this caused.”

Ms. Gibbs, as other speakers before and after her, asked Islanders and all Americans to take time to reflect and remember. “Today we pray for the families whose loved ones have given their very lives. We are ever grateful for those now serving our country.”

Commander Mundy then took to the podium and recalled his own youth on the Island, and the inspiration that made him a U.S. Marine. “Today, among the countless heroes we remember, I want to tell you about one young man whose courage and unwavering dedication embody the spirit of this day: Marine Corps Lance Corp. Jordan Haerter.”

Lance Corp. Haerter of Sag Harbor was killed-in-action in Iraq, defending a position with another Marine, Corp. Jonathan Yale under attack, on April 22, 2008. “That day, a suicide truck bomber, intent on breaching the security of the station and causing mass casualties, sped towards their position,” Commander Mundy said. “Without hesitation, and without flinching, Lance Corp. Haerter and Corporal Yale stood their ground. They knew the danger. They understood the stakes, but their resolve never wavered … Because of their heroic actions and their unwavering commitment to their duty, they stopped that truck. It detonated just short of its intended target. They saved the lives of countless American and Iraqi personnel inside the security station. However, Jordan Haerter and Jonathan Yale paid the ultimate price, their young lives extinguished in a selfless act of bravery. Their sacrifice was not in vain. Because of their courage, many others lived.”

By November 2008, at 16-years-old, Commander Mundy said he had already told his father that he wanted to join the Marines. “I remember my dad telling me one day that he wanted me to go over to Sag Harbor. He said a Marine from there, named Jordan Haerter, had recently lost his life and they were doing a dedication ceremony for him. They were re-naming the bridge that crosses from North Haven into Sag Harbor in his honor. ‘I want you to go there to think about his sacrifice and realize that this is a possibility of what could happen,’ he said to me. My father’s lesson was that war wasn’t just a video game … you couldn’t just hit a restart button and begin all over again. There were real-life decisions to be made, which could ultimately end in real-life consequences.”

The veteran asked the crowd a favor. “The next time you’re traveling into Sag Harbor from North Haven, take a few seconds when you’re traveling over that bridge and think about Jordan. Think about why that bridge is named in his honor. Think about his sacrifice to not only his country but also to the Iraqi people that he was protecting, and also the Marines whose lives he saved that day … Thank you. And may God bless our fallen heroes and the United States of America.” 

There was a reading by Father Peter DeSanctis of all Islanders killed in action, a 21-gun salute in Wilson Circle, and laying of wreaths at the rough, rock memorials to the fallen, and a haunting rendition of Taps, played by Amara Cajamarca Goodale, floated out over the community.

Soon a happy buzz of voices was rising, as many in the crowd headed to the south side of the Community Center for the Lions Club’s barbecue. Another Shelter Island summer was underway.

In memoriam: Shelter Islanders killed in action

CIVIL WAR

Robert J. Congdon

Zebulon B. Glover

Randolph C. Griffing

 J. Madison Hempstead

Charles H. Haven

Joseph Howard

Hudson Sylvester Nicoll

WORLD WAR I

Henry Martin Mitchell

WORLD WAR II

Charles W. Avona

Arthur Dickerson

Robert Winberg

Herbert Howard Power

Carl (Ed) Conrad

John W. Sanwald Jr.

Raymond C. Dickerson

KOREA

Julius J. Scholtz

VIETNAM

James Wilson Jr.

AFGHANISTAN

Joseph J. Theinert