Jenifer’s Shelter Island Journal: Bravehearts

I met Karen Haag, founder and director of Bravehearts Camps, at Camp Quinipet, in the drizzle of last Saturday afternoon. Below, I bring you a little of our interview and that of one of the campers. You’ll want to visit the website: braveheartscamp.org.

“So in 1999, at age 37, I was diagnosed with breast cancer, and you know all those feelings of disbelief: I’m too young; I have no family history, etc., etc.,” Karen said. “So right after diagnosis, I didn’t want to, but I was cajoled into joining a support group. I met someone who was also a part of that support group and she really encouraged me.  We were all bald, and a couple of times I had my chemo in the lunchroom so we could all eat lunch together. Through my oncologist, we heard about this cancer camp in western New York. My oncologist actually paid for all of us to go, and we had a great experience. We agreed that we needed something like this in Pennsylvania, where I was living at the time.

“We found a YMCA camp in the Adirondacks and held our first retreat in 2001.  Following that, we came out to Shelter Island, a place I love and have been coming to since I was a kid, and met with Roy, Quinipet’s director at the time, and by the next year we’d added Shelter Island to the list. After that we made a connection with Paul Newman’s ranch in Lake Luzerne in New York. For a while we were doing four weekends a year but, for now, we’re down to three. We’re all volunteers. You know, getting originally 11, now 10 women working together as a team all these years — 25 — is pretty amazing. Bravehearts has been an extremely gratifying part of my life, and my family has been very, very involved. It’s just a wonderful, wonderful blessing.”

Karen introduced me to Candi, a bald and beautiful woman who seemed way too young to have two grown sons.

“Wow!” Candi said. “So I am still learning, but I found out about this camp last year. It looked like it was full of sisterhood — like amazing women who have attended again and again. Turns out that this summer is the camp’s 25th anniversary. I was very intrigued, yet a little apprehensive. Still, I told myself we need to go.

“In 2021 I was diagnosed with colon cancer, and then last year — actually, today is my one-year anniversary for finding out — I was diagnosed with gastric cancer. So there I was, between the two cancers. But I’ve been given incredible opportunities like this to connect with women who understand. There’s certainly a lot of verbal support here, but then there is the unspoken support, if that makes any sense. You have to go day-to-day, but to get a hug from somebody who just gets it, who knows what ports are, and what it feels like when you lose your hair, no explanations needed. Last night I was tired, and I skipped out on an activity, and everybody was like, ‘Good for you, Candi, for taking care of yourself!’

“I intended to go to camp last fall, but after finding out about my stomach cancer, I was put back on treatments every other week. My friend said, ‘So let’s do the summer one next year, when you’ll be better.’ Well, we drove here from Michigan. I drove, and right there is an accomplishment in itself for me. Sure, I’d fly to New York on my way to medical appointments in Boston, Uber here and there, and then go home. This time, I not only drove to New York, I drove in New York, in traffic, in through Jersey, on to Long Island. Yeah, I’m quite proud of myself.

“I never thought in a million years that it would be something I would do, but you know, when my friend, a fellow cancer survivor-fighter, says, ‘Hey, you want to go on a road trip and go to this retreat?’ You just do it, right? it’s done. 

“You read about this camp, but when you actually get here — the sisterhood, the community, the love, the connections, the fun! It’s about a lot more than cancer. Of course, you can sit in a circle and talk about your diagnosis and what you’re going through, but you can also go walking and kayaking, and be with nature among the birds, and you know, just be by the water.

“So, that small investment I made to attend something like this seems so nominal. Amazing! All the volunteers have been doing this for 25 years and have been able to sustain it. The campers come back year, after year, after year — I’m just learning about that. I figure there’s got to be something really special about this camp.”

There is another “Braveheart,” Jennifer, but somehow I lost her extraordinary interview. Many apologies, Jenn — like you, it was unforgettable.  Thank you, Karen, and your spark plug of a mom, Ann Marie Haag, for inviting me in.