Camp Good Mourning is shelter for grieving children
On fall and spring weekends for the past two years, a group of grieving children have arrived by ferry to spend the weekend in Shelter Island’s healing arms. Last weekend those arms opened again.
They come through the efforts of Paul Rubin, director and founder of Camp Good Mourning, a Long Island-based charity that provides free weekend camping experiences for children aged 7 to 17 who have lost a parent or sibling.
Each weekend program is supported by about 30 trained grief counselors, therapists and volunteers. Camp Good Mourning has found deep community support on Shelter Island, and 2025 is the second year it has been held at Camp Quinipet.
One of those supporters is Amy Weinstein, who owns Eccentric Bagel with her husband, Darryn Weinstein. When a call went out for food to provide volunteers during a training session held in advance of the weekend, Eccentric Bagel responded by donating a luncheon that was deeply appreciated.
When Ms. Weinstein was 14, she lost her mother, so the mission of Camp Good Mourning has special resonance for her.
“You know, death is not easy for any family to deal with. Often the young ones are really lost in the shuffle,” she said. “Everyone is going through their own chaos. It was just something I had to deal with.”
She wishes a grief-counseling program had been available to her at the time.
Mr. Rubin said holding the weekends at Camp Quinipet has improved the program in ways practical and spiritual. The accommodations give the program the potential to expand from 30 campers at each retreat to twice as many in the future.
Among the many spiritual reasons that Shelter Island is an ideal location for the Camp Good Mourning retreats is the beauty of the Island, starting with the 15-minute crossing from Greenport.
“A ferry ride is metaphorical for leaving things behind, and that’s something that these children need,” Mr. Rubin said. “Many of the kids have never been to a real island.”
For some children, the camp experience shows them that they’re not alone, and that other children must face the death of someone very close. The campers participate in organized games and activities. Fishing is very popular, as are the Shelter Island Fire department visits. Our Lady of the Isle is an eager contributor to the work of the camp, and the North Ferry provides support for the program as well.
The weekend also involves quiet and reflective activities to help children talk about their loved ones and express complex feelings. For many of the campers, the experience is so helpful that they will come back to subsequent sessions.
Many of the volunteers return as well. Mr. Rubin estimates that about 80% of them come back for training days and weekends, despite the time away from their work and families, and the fact that they are not paid. Camp Good Mourning is one of the favorite charities of several corporations, including New York Life and Macy’s.
The Camp Good Mourning program is free and works with New York City and Long Island School Districts and counselors to identify children who could benefit from the program. Nationwide, an average of 1 in 11 American children experience the death of a parent or sibling before the age of 18, so there is no shortage of children in the five boroughs and Long Island who could be helped.
