A day to remember: Shelter Island’s 2024 Memorial Day ceremonies

About half an hour before the Shelter Island Memorial Day parade stepped off from the Center Firehouse, Julio Garrido was walking up Thomas Street with his son Omar, 10. They were on their way to watch the parade, and especially to cheer another member of the family, Sophia, who would be marching with the Girl Scouts.

It was the first Island parade for the Garrido family, who moved from Riverhead about a year ago. Julio and Omar were looking forward to it, to greet new friends and watch the parade passing by. Mr. Garrido knows what Memorial Day means, and said it was important his children were present. “It’s for those who died,” he said. “The soldiers.”

Farther down North Ferry Road, James “Jimbo” Theinert had selected a spot to plant some small American flags in the grass by the side of the road. He was assisted by Archie, 4. “We had a few of these around the house,” Mr. Theinert said. “I thought we’d bring them today.”

These are the same flags that line “Joey’s Mile ” every year at the 10K Race. It’s an honored Shelter Island tradition of middle and high school students placing the flags along the last mile of race, in honor of 1st Lt. Joseph Theinert, who was killed in action in Afghanistan in June 2010. “We’re looking for volunteers this year,” Mr. Theinert said.

He was asked about his emotions when Memorial Day comes, and memories of his brother. Planting a flag in the soft grass, he said, “It’s like most feelings, they come and go in waves. Some glad and happy. Some somber.”

Even though the day was cool and foggy, with sprinkles coming every now and then, he agreed it was a beautiful day for Shelter Island, with families assembling along the roadside and on the grass median of North Ferry Road for the parade.

Standing on the grass across the way was Brett Goodman with Raimie, 3, straddling her father’s shoulders and holding on to his cap. Told she had the best view in the house, Raimie agreed with a smile.

Next to Mr. Goodman was his daughter Elodie, 7, and his wife Migina. Summer residents, this is their fourth Memorial Day parade in a row. “It’s great for the kids,” Mr. Goodman said, noting that both of his grandfathers served in the armed forces.

Father Charles McCarron, pastor of St. Mary’s Episcopal Church gave the invocation, as everyone gathered in front of the Community Center. He spoke of those who “laid down their lives for freedom, democracy, and justice.” He asked those assembled not to forget the “loss and pain of the families of those who had died,” and hope “they find solace in our collective embrace.” Father McCarron asked the gathering to pray for “a future free of the ravages of war.”

REMEMBERING

There were two eloquent speeches, delivered by American Legion Auxiliary President Rita Gates and Legion Commander Michael (Zach) Mundy, a Marine Corps veteran who served in Afghanistan.

Ms. Gates began her address by asking those assembled “to remember and honor military women who died in the service of our country. Representing only 8.4% of the military today, women soldiers are less recognized as warriors and their stories seldom told.”

Ms. Gates spoke of 1st Lt. Ashley White, 24, killed in action in Afghanistan in October 2011, one of the first in a group of women in combat. “She was awarded the Bronze star, the Purple Heart, the Meritorious Service Medal, the Afghanistan Campaign Medal and the Combat Action Badge,” Ms. Gates said.

Remembered on Shelter Island Monday, due to Ms. Gates, was U.S. Army Specialist Lori Piestewa, killed in action in March 2003. “A Native American of the Hopi tribe, she had volunteered for deployment in Iraq,” Ms. Gates said. Transporting supplies to combat units, her convoy was ambushed. She was taken as a prisoner of war, but died of her injuries and was awarded the Purple Heart and the Prisoner of War Medal.

Marine Corps Major Megan McClung was killed in action in December 2006 at the age of 34, Ms. Gates said. In her final month of deployment in Iraq she was escorting a group of journalists in Ramadi when a bomb destroyed her Humvee. Major McClung was killed immediately; no one else suffered injuries. She was the first woman Naval Academy graduate to be killed in action since 1845, and the first female officer killed in Iraq.

“The loss of women in recent wars has been unprecedented in modern history,” Ms. Gates said. “America is truly grateful for their service. Let us thank our Gold Star families and tell them their loved ones are not forgotten.”

Ms. Gates closed with a quotation by Thomas Campbell: “To live in the hearts we leave behind is not to die.

Commander Mundy spoke of the meaning of Memorial Day “as paying pay tribute to those who gave their lives in defense of our nation, our freedoms, and our way of life.”

The Marine Corps vet then asked the Islanders assembled to consider not just those Americans who died in uniform, but “veterans who have lost their lives due to service-related illnesses. If you look over on the curb of this lawn you will see a new name placard that has not been up here before. Walter Brigham. Walter was a Vietnam vet who lost his life due to Agent Orange complications. Out of the three million veterans who served in Vietnam, over 300,000 have died from Agent Orange-related diseases. These veterans who have died are now listed as service members who were killed in action during Vietnam.”

He then remembered a comrade-in-arms, Lance Corporal Thomas Morton, team leader of his platoon, and a close friend from his service from basic training through deployment in Afghanistan. He described his friend’s humor, kindness, dedication and loyalty, and the seven months he served in the field with him. “We went on patrols together, we stood watch together, ate food and watched movies together. We experienced the daily anxieties of war together. Morton turned into my big brother while we were over there,” he said.

As he continued, at times he had to pause, slow his breath, his voice from wavering with emotion as he remembered his friend.

Coming home, Tom Morton spent some time on Shelter Island with his friend and they kept in touch, as Commander Mundy did with other vets he served with. “Last year in April I got a phone call from my dad,” Commander Mundy said. “He asked me what happened to Morton. I had no clue what he was talking about. I hung up the phone and got on Facebook to message Tom. His Facebook page was full of R.I.P.’s and ‘We will miss you’ posts. I immediately called a friend and before I could even get a word out he said, ‘It’s true.’”

He quoted part of Tom Morton’s obituary: “Thomas battled with chronic pain, depression and PTSD for many years, finally being overcome by his suffering, he took his own life.”

To the silent gathering, Commander Mundy said, “A couple days after learning about it, I had a dream. I was sitting in Tom’s living room with him. I knew he was dead and he knew it also. But we both stood up and hugged each other. He told me everything was going to be O.K., and that he wasn’t hurting anymore, mentally or physically.”

He concluded by asking that we “think about those who have lost their fight on the physical battlefield and those who have sacrificed their health due to warfare, such as Walter Brigham, who had to suffer the long-term effects of Agent Orange. Please continue to celebrate those lives. But I also want you to think about the ones like Tom Morton who have perished back here in this country because of the trauma and demons they face on a daily basis. Think of the veterans who have died while trying to deal with what they have gone through, but unfortunately did not receive help in time. Please think of all of these men and women. These heroes of our nation today. And always.”

SOUNDS OF A SPRING MORNING

One of the many things that makes the Island’s Memorial Day distinct and meaningful are not just the sights, but the sounds, and the silences, in the Center of town.

The marching band and applause for first responders and auxiliaries; the clear voices of the speakers; the National Anthem sung by Sara Mundy in a lovely, bell-clear voice, and “God Bless America,” sung lovingly by Linda Bonaccorso, who had everyone singing along in hushed voices.

The moments of silence to remember the dead were eloquent, broken softly by the mild fussing of an infant in his mother’s arms, or the counterpoint of the rippling of the flag at half-staff.

The blast of the gun salute from the uniformed squad of veterans made everyone flinch, followed immediately by the tinny sound of a metal cartridge striking the pavement at Wilson Circle.

Finally, “Taps,” played on the trumpet by Michael Farkas was mournful, strong, flowing over the silent crowd, a final salute to the fallen, and the end of the ceremonies.

Then the happy buzz as the gathering moving to the lawn of the Community Center for the traditional Lions Club barbecue.

Another Shelter Island summer was under way.